Letter Break 2 ~ Giordano At The Apartment

My first anniversary with Mary Jane was weeks away when I received a text message from Gio. It was the first time I heard from him since our break up a year ago.

"Hey, it's been a long time. How are you now?" he asked.

It took several minutes before I answered, thinking hard if replying would be a foolish thing to do.

"I'm good. How about you?" I said, while in my mind I asked myself, "Ano naman kaya gusto nito?"

His reply was quick. He wanted to meet me, to catch up on things. My answer was instinctive, my fingers typed the words automatically.

"I'm sorry but I'm very busy. Nag-start na ang practicum namin and puro na kami hospital duties nowadays," I told him rather bitterly.

"Ah is that so? Saang hospital ka ba naka-assign?" he said.

"Sa Mandaluyong City Medical Center," I replied.

"Oh. Malapit lang ako dun! I am now residing here in Mandaluyong. Malapit kasi dito ang work ko. One jeepney away lang ang hospital na yan mula dito sa apartment ko. Mga 3 minutes commute. Ilang araw ba duty mo don? Gusto mo dito na matulog para malapit ka lang?" he offered.

I was slightly taken aback. How could he propose something like that when there's ill history between us? But I was still considering his offer since it would lessen the difficulty of my long commute. I would be coming from the province way down south, and it would be a big pain in the ass to travel back and forth for 3 hours each. I could use the extra time for resting instead of using it in transit.

However, I was having second thoughts because I felt that it would be extremely awkward to see him again, so I answered, "3 days per week, for 2 weeks. Pero I'll think about it first, ok?"

"Sure Sepsep. Just tell me once you've decided," his last text message said.

After a few days, I accepted his offer. He seemed warm and happy, I kept myself unattached and civil. I instructed myself that nothing other than a clean stay over should happen.

On the first night, he fetched me at the Boni station of the MRT. When I saw him, I knew that he's still the same Gio that I abandoned outside a church a year before. Nothing changed. After greeting each other rather formally, we proceeded to his place.

The neighborhood where his place was situated is kinda busy and lively; shops lined the roadside, kids playing outside, street vendors passed by from time to time, and women exchanges gossips in one corner. The apartment he was living in is cheap; it's a very small studio-type apartment with one window, similar to the hut where we stayed when we had our first out of town trip. The only things inside his room were his sofabed, a small TV, a small dresser, an electric fan, and a shoe rack. I put my bag in the only space left on the floor; the room was so cramped. The CR was communal and it was located at the rooftop of the building.

We talked while having dinner. He said that he's now a call center agent; he doesn't need to pursue his plans of working abroad anymore, since working in the BPO industry here is already a good opportunity. I told him that I am currenty very serious in my studies, since I have to maintain my status as a dean's lister. He congratulated me and asked how is my love life. I told him that MJ and I are back together again and that our first anniversary is near. Then I returned the question, and he said that he's been single ever since we broke up. This surprised me for a bit. Knowing his personality, doubt entered my mind, and it was hard for me to believe him. But I sensed some sincerity in his voice, I saw longing in his eyes, and I noticed joy in his every smile. So I probed further.

"How about you and Aldrin?" I asked.

"Naalala mo pa pala yun? Tinigilan ko na siya, di ko na siya kinausap after mo mawala. Sa totoo lang, wala naman talaga akong balak sa kanya. Nung iwan mo ako, hindi na ako naghanap ulit Sepsep. Na-realize ko kung ano ang nawala sa akin. May mga makilala man ako, pero hindi nila ako minahal gaya nung pagmamahal mo, gaya ng pinakita mo sa akin noon, kaya hindi ko na tinutuloy. Ikaw na ang pinakamasarap na naging karelasyon ko. Pinaramdam mo sa akin noon na meron pa din palang may kayang magmahal sa akin ng lubos, iba kesa dun sa nararanasan nila Ryan," he said.

I wasn't sure what would be my response to that, so I kept quiet. He noticed this. We finished the rest of our dinner in silence. I told him I would take a bath before going to sleep. He said he's going straight to bed.

After I freshened up, I went back into his room. He was already sleeping, facing the wall. I turned off the lights and then lay down beside him, facing away. It took me several minutes before I fell into a deep slumber.

I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling humid. I turned and saw Gio also awake, staring at me. I stared back. After several seconds, he moved his face towards mine. Suddenly, we were kissing, then our bodies locked into a warm embrace. He's still a good kisser. My hands caressed his hair while his tongue burrowed deep into my mouth. He went down, licking my neck down to my nipples. I moaned softly, arching my back in rhythm. Then, he lowered my shorts and began sucking my angered cock, making me moan louder. I noticed he's having a hard time blowing me; maybe he lacked practice after I was gone. After a couple of minutes, I suddenly hold his head using my both hands, forcing him to stop.

"Bakit?" he asked, looking puzzled.

"I can't do this. Unfair kay MJ. Ayaw kong mag-cheat," I said, not looking at him.

He understood, so he sat up straight beside me. He said, "Sepsep pwede mo pa ba akong bigyan ng isa pang chance? This time, I'll make it right. Mahal pa rin kita. Ikaw lang nagmahal sa akin ng sobra, at ang bobo ko dati kasi hindi ko nakita iyon. Patawarin mo ko kung nag-suffer ka man noon. Sana mapagbigyan mo ko, please?" he pleaded.

I remained staring at the ceiling for at least a minute, deep in thought. Then I looked at him straight in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry Gio. Pero iniwan ko na si MJ once, for you. At nadala na ako. I don't want to hurt her again, para lang sayo. Hindi worth it."

He looked hurt. After a short silence, he started crying. He lay down, facing the wall again. I decided not to comfort him, because it might just worsen his sorrow. So I shut my eyes and went to sleep.

The next day, before I leave, I told him, "Gio, pagbalik ko mamaya, uuwi na ako sa bahay namin. Magco-commute na lang ako araw-araw hanggang matapos ang duty ko doon sa hospital na yon."

He just nodded, avoiding my eyes.

When I returned, I immediately packed my things, then he accompanied me up to the MRT station. We were quiet all the time; we bade goodbye to each other without saying a word.

And from then on, I never saw him again.