Allow me to use this interruption to tell you about my friend's recent experience in riding the MRT.
We are spa buddies; Vince's age is more than twice my age. He is a loving husband and a good father of 2. He considers himself a late bloomer; he started entertaining his homosexual needs only a few years ago, so he is kinda weak in receiving and interpreting signals from PLUs. The other day, he shared what happened to him during a commute via the train.
"This happened earlier Dre. Di ba sumakay ako ng MRT? I was near the second to the last door, in the last coach. Siyempre rush hour, so masikip na at nakatayo ako. Pagdating ng Buendia station, madaming sumakay. When the door closed, I noticed this new passenger. Maputi, around 5'6" at maganda katawan nya; mukha siyang OFW sa Saudi, base sa assessment ko. So napatitig ako sa kanya Dre, nakita ko na lumilibot ang mata nya. Tapos nakita nya kong nakatitig, so I removed my gaze. After that, siguro mga twice pa kami nagkatinginan. Guadalupe station came, maraming bumaba kaya medyo lumuwag. Kasabay non, I saw na tumabi siya sakin, then came the sudden rush of new passengers kaya masikip na ulit. We are positioned side-by-side, our elbows touching, pero sa opposite direction kami nakaharap, so gumawa ako ng way para magkaharap kami. Napansin nya yung ginawa ko, so nagkakatinginan na kami ulit; the longest stare we had was about 3 seconds max," he said, sounding like an excited little boy.
"Wow, that was good Dre. Well, I hope this has a good ending," I responded.
"You'll see. So, ang posisyon ko that time ay nasa harap ang backpack ko, and both of my hands were holding it sa ilalim, for support kunwari. Siya naman may hawak na package sa isang kamay. Dahil intense na din ang tinginan namin, I summoned all my courage to cup his groin. I can tell na fit ang pants nya, yung tipong madali kong maibababa ang zipper if gusto ko. I looked at him and wala naman siyang violent reaction. After a few minutes, kinapa ko ulit siya," he continued.
"Teka, malaki ba? Tumigas ba?" I asked, my eyes showing deep interest.
"I felt na malaki e, kasi matambok Dre. Kaso hindi matigas, kahit nung pangalawang beses. Ako ang tinigasan actually!" he answered, slightly laughing.
"Dapat pinatigas mo siya! O tapos?" I probed further.
"After ng Boni station, meron siyang binulong. Ang narinig kong sinabi nya, 'Next station...' Di ko sure kung bakit siya nagsalita nun bigla; hindi ko alam kung ako ba sinasabihan nya non, kasi sa iba naman siya nakatingin. Pagdating ng Shaw, bumaba na siya. Hindi ko na nakita kung tumingin siya ulit sa akin kasi natabunan na siya ng madaming pasahero na papasok ng train," he said.
"Bakit hindi ka sumunod? Sayang naman," I blurted out.
"E kasi hindi ko naman sigurado kung interesado nga siya; baka mamaya, biglang magalit. Tsaka meron pa kong appointment na pupuntahan," he lamented apologetically.
"*tsk tsk tsk* Nasa kamay mo na yung ibon, pinalipad mo pa," I said.
"Pano ba malalaman yun Dre? Hindi ko kasi alam ang mga ganyan eh. Hindi ako sanay," he said, looking downcast.
I smiled and said, "After ng lahat ng yun, hindi ka pa din nakahalata? Game yun! Obvious naman e."
"Talaga Dre? Ganun pala yon... Turuan mo naman ako," he requested.
And so thus the reason for writing this. All you've read above is only the introduction. *teehee*
So really, how will you know if someone is interested with you during one of your commutes? And how should you respond? I shared the following to my friend, much to his amazement and regret.
1. If John keeps on shooting glances at you.
First, let's call our imaginary prospect as 'John' (with a bubble butt), okay? So, try this rule: If John looks at you for a minimum of 3 times, there's a 90% chance that he's gay. This can vary from a subtle glance to a looks-like-he's-aready-stripping-you-naked stare. How about the 10% chance that he's straight? Well, most straight men will never look at you more than twice, unless you are 1) a real woman with 2 melons and a pechay; 2) someone with a LadyGaga-like fashion sense; 3) someone he wants to punch or strangle; 4) a celebrity (Well, if this is the case, thank you so much for reading my blog! Can I have an autograph?); 5) someone he wants to <insert a known crime here except rape>; or 6) someone who is making a scene or a loud racket. If you are not any of the mentioned criteria, then you can safely assume that he wants some man-loving.
Wait, what? You are still confused? Okay, here's a tip: Read their eyes and assess how they look at you. Eyes are the window of the soul; it can show one's desires and emotions. I assume you can tell whether a stare is endearing or frightening, right? Well, I hope so.
Here's another tip: Wear sunglasses! Except for nighttime though, unless you want to look stupid. With this, you can easily observe John without him knowing.
How to respond: After looking at you for more than 3 times, reciprocate. If you are demure, you can make it subtle. If you are straightforward, hold his gaze then smile.
2. If John smiles at you.
Filipinos are not known for smiling to strangers, so this can be creepy. Also assess his smile.
How to respond: Smile back. It's beneficial to your skin and facial muscles.
3. If John starts talking to you.
It still depends on the content and nature of the topic, but engaging in a conversation is very much one of the decent ways to flirt. Here are some tips: If you are just looking for casual sex, talk lightly, never wade deep. Talk about how or where or when you will do the deed. If you are genuinely interested in John and you want something more, invite him for a cup of coffee. Wait, I forgot that we are in the Philippines, so erase that. Instead, invite him for a stick of pishbol and a plastic cup of samalamig. If a long conversation is not possible (due to rush hour or other reasons), you can exchange digits and schedule a date. However, this thing is kinda rare. Usually, gay men, who are out and comfortable with themselves, don't have a problem in starting conversations. Most paminta, both dinikdik and buo, are contented with just frisking you.
How to respond: Depending on the agenda, make the conversation interesting and sincere. Again, smile often.
4. If John cups your front, vice versa or both.
If you cupped John and what you got is a freakin' black eye, then he is definitely not interested, but it does not necessarily mean that he's straight. Gays can punch you too, you know; they are also people who need some boundaries. Not all of us like this kind of thing. On the other hand, if he didn't react or if he smiled (which was better), it means you should go on, like what Celine Dion's heart will do. Do I still need to explain further?
When I rode the MRT once, I noticed 2 guys, both wearing formal office attire, were facing each other rather awkwardly. Their bodies were so close to each other, almost touching! Yes, I know the train can get really cramped, but it looked unnatural to my eyes. Then, I saw that their hands were hidden behind their bags in a weird way. Their faces showed extreme concentration. I just smiled to myself, letting them do what they gotta do.
I have read stories of commuters who had done this. Some even whipped out their cocks and stroked it right there while standing in the middle of the train! The best I've read is about a commuter who had reached the point wherein he cummed and sprayed it all on the floor! Geez, imagine if you were beside that person, and when you got off the train, you noticed you have some slimy stains in your pants and shoes. *brrr* How they fucking did that I have absolutely no idea. We should give them an award, for their courage and sneakiness.
I also heard of a news about someone who got caught inside the train sucking another commuter's cock. The cocksucker got apprehended and the one he was sucking had escaped. Apparently, they were discovered when the train arrived in a station and the door opened to let the other passengers get off, causing the coach to be less cramped. When found out, the one being sucked hurriedly went out of the door, and the cocksucker failed to move quickly due to shock. What the fuck, right? *tsk tsk tsk*
How to respond: Squeeze it gently, like a baby's cheek. Stroke it slowly and enjoy the moment.
5. If John pokes you.
I have heard of MRT stories wherein commuters felt hard-ons poking them; some even brushed it against their butt. Wild yes?
How to respond: Do some twerking. *hohoho* Just kidding. Again, just enjoy the moment. And afterwards, thank God for His generosity.
6. If John whispered, "Next station..." in any way whatsoever.
Or if he whispered, "Tara.../C'mon...", "Halika.../Let's go..." or "Sumunod ka.../Follow me..."
These mean only one thing, take a guess. This can possibly lead into the following scenarios: 1) Follow him, he will ask you to check-in a nearby motel to do-I-still-have-to-fucking-mention?; 2) Follow him inside a stall inside the station's CR or any public CR, then have some quickie; 3) Follow him, he will ask you to join him in having a snack at Master Siomai while talking about each other or something like that; 4) Follow him, he will ask you to exchange numbers, then he will tell you that he will just inform you when both of you can meet again (Which is a scenario that should really piss the fuck off of you. I mean, why does have to lead you way out of the train to just ask for your fucking number? Is he that discreet? If this will happen, you should shout, "Mahirap makipagbuno para makasakay sa MRT!" right in his face.); 5) Follow him, he will take you somewhere dark and vacated, then whisper, "Akin na ang cellphone at wallet mo! Dali!"; and 6) Do not follow him and move on, either with or without regret.
How to respond: This depends wholly on your discretion. Remember, there is a reason why you are currently in transit, which is because you are going somewhere.
7. If you are just not that into John.
Of course, not all people we meet everyday is an eye-candy, or someone to masturbate for. There maybe times when someone, though not necessarily ugly, is just not your type, and unfortunately, they are making a move on you. Should you panic? Be rude? Punch him and make a commotion?
How to respond: Say in a polite manner, "Sorry, pero di ako interested." That should do the trick for a decent homosexual. However, not all gays are decent, so if ever he keeps on making you uncomfortable despite of your peaceful rejection, try to change your position, change seats or stand elsewhere. If he still followed you, that's when you should get everyone's attention by bringing out your talents in drama, suspense and action.
*whew!* This tired me out! *yawn* My brain cells and my fingers really need some break now. Feel free to share your own views and opinions; I might have missed some things.
But before I go, let me remind you of something. Always think first before you do anything foolish.Weigh your choices and actions, unless you want to reach your destination bruised and humiliated. Assess each signs carefully. A slight brush to your groin or a subtle poke to your butt might be just an accident; you think he is staring at you, but actually he is concentrating on something way behind you; or a bump or a full body contact might be unintentional due to cramped spaces. It might probably not hurt if you get naughty from time to time, but it would be safest if you do things in the right place at the right time.
Happy flirting! *smile*