L ~ Lost & Found

I remember starting using PlanetRomeo (PR) on mid 2009. After making an account, I began surfing through lots of profiles for hours for almost everyday. I saw an abundance of horny egocentric men, as well as the different kinds of PR users. Hence I made the list below for your reference.

• The Untouchables - the ones who are way out of your league. Most gays can't do anything but to just drool over them. They often get at least a hundred messages per day. If you are not in the same category, you will probably be ignored.
• The Entrepreneurs - these are ranging from escorts to masseurs. They're making a business out of PR. The escorts cost more than the masseurs, of course, since the former are often more good-looking than the latter.
• The Romantics - the ones who are looking for love in the sea of lustful men. In spite of the majority of frustrating profiles, they are still hopeful that, one day, they can find the right one hidden amongst them. There are 2 sub-categories for the Romantics:
• The Choosy - they have a long list of criteria in choosing a suitable partner. The funny thing is, they are looking for their ideal man in the most unlikely place. They are often unsuccessful.
• The Desperate - the ones who will grab any opportunity for any intimacy. Sadly, this is true.
• The Friendlies - 'looking for friends' is their most common status, but they are just shy of blatantly saying 'looking for sex'. C'mon. No one hangs out in PR just because they want new buddies. If they really want to make friends, they should go to Facebook.
• The Clowns - these individuals are like the gay stand-up comedians of PR. You won't resist a laugh or two when you visit their page. Most are funny on purpose, while some are only accidental; you will laugh at them either because of their typos or their absurd profile descriptions.
• The Rant Machines - they use PR solely as a tool to vent out their frustrations in life. Usually, they are bitter because they are rejected by the Untouchables.
• The Blanks - those whose profiles are empty. No information whatsoever, no descriptions, no pictures. Their purpose in PR is mystifying.
• The Mutilated - these are the users who have cropped pictures. Some don't have heads, only their gorgeous body is shown, while some only show one part of their face. When you encounter a Mutilated, you can expect three possibilities: someone discreet, someone ugly, or both.
• The Attention Whores - the main reason why they made an account is only to flaunt their looks. They have no intention to meet anyone. They just wanted people to ogle at them for reasons I can't fathom. Maybe to have an ego boost, or maybe they are just bored. Most of them are already in a relationship.
• The Sex Addicts - they are the ones who utilize PR for its ultimate purpose: sex. Looks and personality are not much of  a big deal to them; they just want to get inside your pants.
• The Criminals - even PR is not safe from people with evil intents. They range from scammers to HIV positive individuals who spread the virus on purpose by engaging in sexual activities without the knowledge of their partner. They are the reason why you should always take extreme caution in using this website.
• The Broths - these individuals will bore or irritate you to death. They seem to be the most worthless users to talk to. Every conversation with them has no substance; it feels like they are not using their brains, or they don't have one at all.
• The Ideal Men - they are the dream men of homosexuals, the epitome of a perfect boyfriend. They have a pretty face and a great body. You will instantly fall in love with their personality. They are friendly and not picky; they are rugged and very straight-acting. For them, what's inside is much more important than the exterior. Unfortunately, they don't exist.

One can be categorized in 2 or more of the above. Others may fall in only a single category. What I find amusing is that these can be applied to homosexuals outside the cyberspace; we are divided into different classifications as well. Discreets, effeminates, transsexuals, trippers, twinks, and bears are some of the examples. There a lot of flavors to choose from. You may favor only one or you may have a taste of them all. *hehe*

When I used PR during that time, I never went out to meet anyone. Either no one was interesting enough or if ever there's one, they have a serious attitude problem that instantly turned me off. I also tried looking for a relationship, hoping that somewhere amongst the faces, the one who's tailor-made for me was just waiting to be found. Yes, I know it was highly unlikely. But sometimes, you can found love in the most unexpected places, right?

***

One day, while exploring PR, I received a message from someone named Marky. He was inviting me to join in his clan exclusive for the residents of my province. Since it was another new thing I never heard before, I instantly said yes. He asked for my mobile number. A few minutes later, I received something like a registration form thru text message that I should fill out.

"What the hell is a clan?" you might ask. A clan is a club with perks for bored people. It is similar to Yahoo! groups, except that it utilizes mobile phones. In this case, it was a clan for people like us. We were required to send at least 1 group message per day. A clan officer would often send out quizzes, polls, or trivia from time to time. All of these have equivalent points. Each member needs to accumulate a certain number of points per week. Otherwise, immediate termination was the usual punishment, unless justified. At the end of every week, the member with the highest points will be rewarded.

Sounds fun? Nah, not really.

I mean, this concept of another way for homosexuals to socialize is nice, yes, but it would be great if people can use it to have interesting discussions or to bridge our differences. Instead, I always received group messages (GM) that are senseless, useless, and clearly egotistic, such as: "Gudpm evry1, kain na po kau. Ulam ko tonyt ay cornd beef. Pakabusog po," or "Going to the mall. Chill chill lang tayo guys," or "Ligo time na. Baho ko na e.", and the worst are "Hanap po ng katext jan," or "Txt txt po sa my gus2." These always grinded my gears; it needed a huge amount of self-control to keep myself from replying, "Fuck you, wala akong pakialam kung ano iniinom mo ngayon!" or "Ayusin mo pagtetext mo, mongoloid!"

Another irritating thing I must mention is that you must get used to members bitching with each other. You see, in clans, couples are a norm. I often heard news of someone bickering with another member because the latter was flirting with the former's boyfriend, or vice-versa. The worse thing was they were doing that thru GMs. I don't know, it seems decency is a rare commodity. Whenever I received this kind of GMs, I would like to tell them, "Hey, haven't you heard of a thing called private message? You dumbass." One can conclude that most relationships that sprouted from clans are already doomed to fail. Unless both of them quit their membership, the lifespan of their romance is a couple of weeks tops.

Aside from the group messages, the clan also held grand eyeballs (GEBs), which required us to attend at least once a month. Eyeballs usually equates to going out for a drink together with your clanmates. Through this, I found out that most members are effeminate based on their behavior and fashion choice. And I didn't expect that, in one of these, I would meet someone who will eventually make my heart beat again, but that's another story. It took a while for me to get used to these gatherings. In a typical eyeball, the loud ones are the effeminates, the straight-actings quietly consume their beer in one corner, and the good-looking ones are surrounded by the loud ones. If you are a snob, you will probably feel out of place since you will be mostly ignored. The more you can follow their loudness, the more you will easily blend in.

I quit the clan after a couple of months when I got bored of it. I made some new friends, yes, but they were not for keeping. I never missed them, actually.

***

I once got lost in the complicated ecosystem of PlanetRomeo, the haven of homosexuals looking for hookups, or even love. Here was where I learned to get used to rejection, and how to properly reject other people as well. Then, someone found me. An individual who introduced a whole new world which was unbeknownst to me. A world where egocentrism and shallowness are rampant. 

However, when I think about it now, there isn't much difference between PR and clans. Finding someone decent and engaging is a rarity. It is up to you to decide if you will maximize their use, to learn some new things from them, and to carry on if necessary. And if they are not your kind of thing, no one will force you to continue. If you decide to go on, you must always keep in mind that, like real life, you should wade into them with caution. They are both full of individuals looking for some form of recognition and intimacy, on way or another; some are even near desperate. Hence being a softy can definitely harm you.

Now, you might find this story mostly in a negative light. But keep in mind that this is only my take of things, so this is rather subjective. It would still be best for you to find out on your own. Experience is life's best teacher, you know.