FOREWORD ~ THIS BLOG CONTAINS HOMOSEXUAL STORIES WITH EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Letter Break 5 ~ What The Hell Really Happened

Kung ako lang, ayoko talaga ng mga set-ups o mga reto reto ng mga kaibigan. Masyadong complicated kasi kapag relationships are being built over an existing network, posibleng masira yung network if di mag work yung nireto. Anyway, I just said yes para mapagbigyan ang kalokohan ng kaibigan kong si Paul. So ang ending, he came over at my house with a friend of his. Inuman daw and get to know each other. After the usual awkward start-up questions, the conversation flowed smoothly along with some shots of Johnny Walker. Neil turned out to be a nurse who just passed his board exam. He’s definitely my type. He’s tall, smart, young, straight acting, decent-looking, and can keep up with intelligent conversations.

The truth is, I am not really looking for a serious relationship. Maybe because of several attempts of committing to someone, which all ended up in nothing, I just got tired of it. I mean, I am 28 years old. I knew I was gay when I was a child and I knew there is no fairy tale with happy endings for me. I know my reality. All feelings, all kisses, and the looks of passion from another person that some will call “love” is, for me, just a passing breeze.

This is why I do not want set-ups. Because it involves personal acquaintances. It requires you to tell the truth including your real name. And trust me, if you know my back story, you’ll agree I should not give out my real name, or even my address. So my tender moments revolve around online sites. My sexlife is just “shoot and leave”. I don’t have to know your name or what you do or talk to you the next day. I do not look for love and I think it’s ridiculous for people to think they can find it there. I know what I want, and I always get it.

Going back to the good conversation I am having with Paul and Neil, I think we are heading in the right direction. Until someone showed up in my door ---- forgive me for cutting again but I had to include another back story…

I prefer online meet-ups mainly because it is safe - everything is a surprise. You have seen pictures, talked to each other, several phone conversations but after you meet them, they will sometimes be a totally different person that what you expected. One of those nights. Cute guy in a picture. You use the same pick up line. He replies back. Conversation. Connection. Meet up. Hook up. Split. The end. 

My conversation with Geosef is both the same and different. We talked. We met. We ate. But I don’t feel that he is into me. He’s a young chinito-looking guy. The type that has an extra appeal to me. I was probing and trying to impress him. He doesn’t seem affected. I think I got him bored. I know these types though. They are young and not interested to know you. They just want a release. So I asked him if he wants to chill sa bahay. He said yes. 

Sa  totoo lang, wala namang gagawin sa bahay maliban sa pagwatch ng dvd. After hitting the Play button on my player, I sat next to him, my presumption is that we are not really interested in watching. After an hour of playtime, I put my arms on his shoulder. My typical move to say “forget the movie and let’s do what you intended to do when you came here.” He gave me a look that caught me off-guard. It is very unusual in all my typical encounters  - the looks that says “What do you think are you doing, pervert?”. So I took my hand away, feeling slapped in the face. The movie went on for another hour. I never tried again to get into his pants. The message is clear – I am not his type.

I had several encounters like this before - guys who are disappointed because maybe they thought I don’t look as good as my pictures. But often we just talk for less than 3 minutes – basically just a “hi” and a handshake and they have to go because “something came up”. I am not offended because I do that sometimes too. Some people just don’t meet our criteria. But Geosef is different. He stayed more than 3 minutes. He endured the long movie.

Nung pauwi na siya, habang nag-aabang kami ng jeep, I said, “Sorry I am not your type. That’s ok if you don’t want to text me anymore”. I don’t remember exactly what he said but it is something like, “That’s not true. You are my type. I just don’t like that you made me watch a movie for 2 hours instead of talking to me.” 

Huh? Magulo pala eto eh. Type mo ako eh walang nangyari sa atin?? Excuses. Pero sige, whatever. 

Going back to present, as I was hanging out and chilling with Paul and Neil, the topic about Geosef came up. I had somehow mentioned his name, so Paul asked me probing questions. “Who is that guy?” I said I just met him online. Neil seemed surprised. Paul is a little bit drunk that maybe he forgot he brought Neil to set up with me. “Do you even know his name?” asked Paul. I answered. “Sounds like a fake name to me," Paul quipped. I agree. Geosef’s full name sounds weirdly unique. The type that can be used as an alias. But I don’t really care. I give out fake aliases as well for all my meet-ups.

Afterwards, we continued drinking, and talking, and laughing. Paul is very entertaining when drunk. He laughs and cries a lot for our amusement. I don’t remember at what point I fell asleep drunk from where I was sitting until I woke up being dragged, led to the bathroom. I don’t feel totally awake until I realize my clothes are being removed. It doesn’t feel real and I don’t have the right senses to resist until cold water was being poured in my head!

Still groggy, I finally able to comprehend what’s going on. Paul is in his usual delirious drunk state! He had me stripped naked in my bathroom floor bathing me like a baby! He was mumbling incomprehensively like a mad man! Then I heard someone knocking in my bathroom door demanding what’s going on inside and if we don’t open the door, he’ll just go.

"Neil! Gising na ako!" I yelled. I asked Paul to stop. He was still mumbling things. The guy’s crazy when drunk! Damn! I opened the door. Neil was standing  there. Shocked to see me and Paul naked on the floor, dripping wet. 

Shit. I know how it looks like. Paul is a very bad matchmaker!!! Neil crisply asked the still mumbling Paull to dress up because they have to leave. I have no explanations in my sleeve. I am still groggy. I quickly dressed up. I just said sorry to Neil and offered a few words about nothing happened and that thing his saw was just crazy. He said there is no need to apologize. I’m sure. But whatever his intention of meeting me that day, it just vanished. Well, again, whatever.

As Paul and Neil left, I saw some unread messages in my phone.

Geosef is saying that he hates me for being insensitive. Ugh! I don’t know what he’s talking about. He sounds like some nagging housewife and I don’t have the time to figure out what’s in his mind. I had enough crazy people for the day. I don’t care.

***

Author's Note: Ace posted this entry in his personal blog more than 2 years ago. I was very lucky to be able to retrieve this. I borrowed this without his knowledge, so be quiet, okay? *wink*

30 comments:

  1. May bata bata po na nangunguha ng post ohhh Lolz.

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    Replies
    1. Iniisip ko kung plagiarism ba ang tawag dito? Kaso naisip ko hindi ko naman inaangkin yung gawa nya. :P

      Ssssshhhh... Wag ka maingay Rix. *hehe*

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    2. hindi naman sya matatawag na plagiarism kasi sinabi mo naman sa post mo na kinuha mo itong post na ito, kung inangkin mo ito pwede pa siguro..

      Si Geosep po yung nangunguha ohhhhh. lolz...

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    3. Ah ganun ba. *hihihi* Mabuti naman. :P Thanks Rix.

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  2. I just realized....

    How did he remember all those things if he passed out?

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    1. Somehow conscious naman ata siya. I dunno if nag-passed out nga siya completely. :P

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    2. Hhhmm.. depende siguro sa tao yun kasi ako din eh kahit lasing na lasing na ako alam ko pa din nangyari the next day. Ganun kami katalino. Charot!

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    3. Ganon din naman ako. Kahit super senglot na, alam ko pa din ang mga nangyayari sa paligid ko. :)

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  3. At pagka basa nito, napa nod ako in agreement sa opening statement na complicated nga ang mga set up o reto reto hehe :)

    Okay, quiet ako :)

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    Replies
    1. May pinaghuhugutan lang Zai? Based on experience ba yan? :)

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  4. kahit sa sarili ko ayoko ng nirereto ako dahil hindi magandang ang kinahahantungan ng mga bagay-bagay. worst case kakainisan mo pa yung mga barkada mo dahil yung inaasahan mong maganda ay nahanting sa basura lamang.

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    1. Ayaw ko rin ng nagrereto, ayaw ko masira sa pagreretohan ko. Dati yung pinsan ko, gusto nya ireto ko siya dun sa maganda kong kaklase nung college. Eh ka-close ko pa naman yung girl, tapos alam kong sobrang babaero ng pinsan ko (meron siyang gf sa ibang bansa that time), kaya tumanggi ako. Malamang pagsasawaan nya lang ng sex yun, pero I'm sure naman na hindi papayag din yung kaklase ko kasi di naman siya ganung klaseng babae. :P

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  5. Ano kaya ang naramdaman mo ng una mong nabasa itong blog entry niya?

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    1. Natawa na lang ako. Bago nya ipabasa sakin to, naikwento na din nya sa akin. Pero hindi kasing accurate ng feelings gaya dito sa blog entry nya. Ito kasi, sinulat nya a few days after lang, kaya fresh pa noon ang totoong naramdaman nya that time. :)

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    2. Wow. Kung gaano ka kagaling magsulat sa English, ganon ka din kagaling magsulat sa Tagalog. Idol talaga kita! :D

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  6. Yang mga reto na yan ang isa sa mga kinababadtripan ko. It's unthinkable. Parang business transaction, isang romance-deprived method of setting up relationships where you expect romance to blossom. Parang they're trying to impose love on you. At ewan nakaka frustrate lang.

    Natawa lalu ako dun sa eksena nung nalasing na. Hahaha! Parang ganyan din nangyari sakin. From then on isinumpa ko na talaga ang alak.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Mas okay siguro kung ang gagawin ng friend mo eh yung tipong ipagtatagpo kayo ng friend din nya. Kumbaga nirereto na pala kayo sa isa't isa ng di nyo nalalaman. *hehe* at least, kung di nyo matipuhan ang bawat isa, walang problema kasi wala naman formal na matchmaking na nangyari. Hindi pressured ang bawat party. :)

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  7. Hi, Geosef. Kuhang kuha mo yung description na gagawa ka ng move tapos pala hindi magugustuhan ng guy, or iba yung gusto nyang gawin. Ang awkward lang talaga. Naranasan ko na rin yan. Pero to call you insensitive? WTF! Yan yung mga tipo ng tao na you meet them, you give them a few minutes, and then you move on. :-)

    By the way, I really like your writing style. Very vivid.

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    Replies
    1. Teka, Peter, hindi po ako ang nagsulat nyan. Si Ace po. Nabasa mo yung 'Author's Note'? :P

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    2. Ay oo nga. My apologies. Hehehehehe.

      Pero yung ibang entries ha, maganda rin! Lalo na yung "This too had passed." Hindi ko maimagine sarili ko na nasa ganung sitwasyon.

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    3. Wow. Coming from someone na mahilig mag-basa, that meant a lot to me. Thanks Peter! :)

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  8. Please don't stop writing by the time you reach the letter Z. Please? ;)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Javes. Bahala na, kung meron pang maisusulat. :)

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    2. Meron yan, iho. I was your age when I started blogging. 5 years ago. Lol.

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    3. 'Iho' talaga? *hahaha!* I'm sure there is. Come what may kuya. :P

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  9. napansin ko parang parehas kayo ng writing style... same din kayo ng tone at language. yiii baka meant to be kayo. haha

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  10. ang dami kong na-miz dito ah... babalikan ko ung ibang story bago mag-full blaST comment...

    maiba lang, daan kayo sa bazaar sa oct 19,20,26 or 27 sa qc circle... 8am to 5pm... 09063617505

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    Replies
    1. Senyor!!! Oks lang, alam kong busy ka din. :P

      Excited na kong mamili. Kitakits na lang doon. ;)

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