FOREWORD ~ THIS BLOG CONTAINS HOMOSEXUAL STORIES WITH EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

W ~ Wrong Actions For The Right Reasons

Ace and I had 3 gay friends, namely Adam, Will, and Royce. They are Ace's office mates and they are all effeminate. Ace introduced me to them on January of 2012. Since then, we became close friends. However, this story will focus on Adam.

Adam was a great friend. There's no doubt about it. Every time Ace was out of the country, he was my usual companion. He has a car so we often took road trips, usually in Tagaytay since it is the nearest tourist destination. He gave sensible advices when we had problems. He knew how to cheer us up when we're down. Whenever someone needed to go somewhere important, he would volunteer to drive. He was a trusted and reliable friend; he was always there when we needed him.

Our friendship with him started to spiral downwards in the middle of the year.

One day, Adam brought a guy named Tristan in our weekly gathering. Tristan is tall, handsome in a slightly feminine way, mestizo, straight-acting, and has a good body built. Honestly, if you will compare the latter to the former who is short, fat-bellied, and moreno (though Adam is cute in some way), you would think that Tristan is an escort hired by Adam. Well, that's what I thought at first.

We got curious so we threw questions at him, asking when, where, and how did they meet. He told us without batting an eyelash, saying that they had a common friend which introduced them to each other. He also said they are only friends and nothing more. However, I couldn't shake the feeling that his story was kinda shady. I noticed the discrepancies in it. I felt that, somehow, due to reasons yet unknown, he was lying to us. But I decided to ignore it. I didn't want to ruin the mood of our get-together.

After that night, we noticed that Adam had changed little by little. He became less bubbly and more reserved, usually just sitting idly in one corner while the group was in an active discussion. His time for us became less and less with every passing week, until he was no longer attending our hang outs. He always had an excuse every time we invited him. Soon, it also became harder for us to communicate with him; he doesn't reply to any of our text messages. It was clear that something was wrong, and no one knows why, except for Royce.

One day, Royce told us the truth; that Adam met Tristan via PlanetRomeo, and that Tristan is actually an escort for a living. That's why I was feeling skeptic when I heard Adam's story; it was all a lie. He didn't want us to judge Tristan.

According to Royce, when he saw Tristan that night, he was sure that his face was familiar. Then he remembered that, years ago, he also met Tristan on the same site. They went out, then Tristan offered him sex in exchange for money, but he refused; he had no idea that Tristan is an escort until that very moment. He thought a good-looking guy was just genuinely interested in him. Well actually, he wasn't entirely wrong. Tristan was truly interested all right, although not exactly with him per se, but with what's inside his wallet. Royce never saw him again after that until Adam brought the guy. Royce kept quiet that time because he didn't want to embarass Adam. Maybe that was also the reason why Adam lied to us; he was ashamed of truth.

However, what shocked us the most was that Adam had fallen in love with Tristan. That's why he had given most of his time to Tristan and less to us. He was trying to hog all of Tristan's attention so that the latter wouldn't have the opportunity to escort for anybody else. He made it a point to be with Tristan for almost 7 days a week, with Adam's work performance being affected as well. He even stalked Tristan on some days they weren't together. Adam became obsessed, neglecting to take care of himself. The last time Royce saw Adam, he had lost a lot of weight; he looked pitiful.

Royce once quipped, "Patay na patay ang lola mo kay Tristan. Bantay sarado nya. After nung ipakilala sa atin, iniwas na niya yung tao, kasi daw baka daw tayo alukin ng sex. Natatakot siyang maagawan. Gusto nya sa kanya lang. Eh ito tuloy si Tristan, hindi na alam kung saan kukuha ng pera. Eh paano ba naman, pinatigil nya ang kabuhayan ng tao, pero hindi naman niya inaabutan ng datung. Ano ine-expect nya? Na ititigil ni Tristan ang trabaho nya para sa kanya because of true love?"

To which Will replied with, "Ah ganon? Ano tingin nya sa atin, ahas? Aba, ang haba ng hair nya ha. Well, ganyan talaga ang pag-ibig. Kahit gaano ka katalino, kapag tinamaan ka, bubulusok pababa ang IQ mo."

After several months, we just heard from Royce that Tristan finally dumped Adam. Apparently, Tristan had given up because of our friend's crazy behavior. He wanted his old life back so he ended things with Adam. After that, Adam sought our company. He needed our presence to overcome his suffering. However, we were badly hurt with the way Adam treated us. He ditched us for some guy not even deserving of his time and attention. In addition, he even suspected us of having an ulterior motive towards Tristan!

So we did what we thought was right. The damage had been done. We avoided and ignored him the same way he did to us. No one gave him even an ounce of attention. We changed our usual hang out place without telling him. We had parties without inviting him. We went on trips without him. We wanted to teach him a lesson.

Well, Adam got his lesson all right. Eventually, he disappeared, abandoning his efforts to reconnect with us. We didn't really care about this, since we already became used to him not being around. However, thinking about it much later, I had a sudden epiphany.

I realized we didn't do what a good friend should. We actually sucked being a friend. If we were great as we thought we were, then we should've stuck with Adam. It was a mistake to abandon him when he needed us the most. A friend should be a friend not only in good times, but in bad circumstances as well. One of us became blinded by love, and we were too shallow to understand that. The least we could do was hear his apology and give him a second chance. And, from then, try to rebuild what was broken. It was the first time that that happened, and no one really knows if it will occur again. Adam had definitely learned something from what he had experienced. But what we did was plain cruelty. We turned our backs and we ganged up on him, even made him a laughingstock of the group.

I tried to tell the others, to also enlighten their minds, but to no avail. They were still too hurt to see me eye to eye. Ace agreed with me somehow, but told me that we were past the point of no return, that the friendship was already irreparable, and that we didn't need Adam anymore. This saddened me, but I respected their opinions nevertheless. Though from then onwards, I learned an important lesson: how to be a friend a great one deserves.

39 comments:

  1. Adam learned his lesson the hard way hmmm... He must know better now not to ditch his friends for a guy. Sabagay, we all, or most of us, become naive and blinded when it comes to love. Hihi ;)

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    1. Nakonsensya lang talaga ako. I wonder how he must have felt when we let him deal with his dilemma on his own. :(

      Yes, ang pag-ibig nakakabobo din minsan. :)

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  2. nyek. clap clap dahil dyan aawardan ko kayo ng good friends award hahahaha.

    anyway dun mo naman talaga matetest ang friendship kapag nasadlak at bumulusok kayo pababa pero kung hindi yun nagwork at hindi niyo naayos e di maganda pa rin. at least alam niyo sa isa't-isa na hindi kayo dapat maging magkakaibigan. haha

    kidding aside, ang mahalaga alam ang mga naging pagkakamali at natututo mula dito. :)

    congrats nga pala at wala na ang word verification sa comments. haha

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    1. Wow, di ko naisip yun ah. Tama ka, ngayon alam ko na. :)

      Oo, sana nga matagal ko ng tinanggal. Kasi kahit ako naiirita sa word verifications kapag nagbibigay ako ng comments sa iba. Tutal namo-moderate ko naman ang comments, hindi na siguro kelangan non. :)

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  3. Sa group namin laging may ganon yung kapag may boyfriend na nawawalan ng time samin tas pag nag break bumabalik din pero never kaming nang iwan. Never kaming nagturo ng leksyon at never kaming nag abandoned. Hindi ko maisip na pwede pa pala mangyari yun sa mga adults I always thought na pang high school ang ugaling ganun. Naawa ako kay Adam kasi naging ganyan na ako ng maraming beses pero ma swerte ako at hindi ako iniwan ng mga friends ko. Kung ako siguro si Adam hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

    Kung meron man akong natutunan sa 12 years of friendship ng group namin at nagtagal siya ng 12 years (with consistent communication and hang outs yan ah) yun yung understanding and patience. Ewan ko pero siguro depende din yun sa foundation ng pagkakaibigan. Kung malalim ang pagkakaibigan siguro hindi talaga mag iiwanan. Siguro factor na din kung paano kayo naging magkaibigan kami kasi high school pa lang kami magkakaibigan na kami so siguro since officemates lang sila hindi ganun kalalim ang pinagsamahan pero hindi pa din yun kasi talaga excuse para sa akin eh.

    tsk tsk! :(

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    1. Ganito lang yan. Nasaktan lang din kami. Lahat naman tayo iba't iba ng phase na maka-get over mula sa pain diba? Nagkataon lang na ako ang pinakaunang natauhan sa amin. Silan tatlo, masama pa din ang loob. Di ko naman sila pwede pilitin kung may hinanakit pa sila. Sadyang ganyan lang talaga. Hindi lahat pare-parehas ng pag-manage sa friendship.

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    2. I mean 'pace' not 'phase'. Sorry.

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    3. Teka, natapakan ko ba ego mo? Kung Oo then you should've disabled this comment box.

      What's a comment box without comments and/or opinions after all?

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    4. Hindi naman. Natutunan ko naman na ang dapat ko matutunan. At alam kong mali talaga kami. Ayaw ko lang sa atake mo. But I appreciate the comment.

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    5. If you think this is an attack then all of us has been attacking you since you started blogging.

      You responded in one of the comments to your previous post by saying "I am a blogger since July" If you really are a blogger/writer then you should already anticipated that someone along the way will disagree with you and you should've not take it as an "attack"

      This is one thing that you need to learn in blogging. It's not all about sharing stories

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    6. Humahaba na ito. Ang point ko lang ay hindi ko sinabi na hindi deserving si Adam na maging friend ko. Wala akong ibig sabihin na ganun. Ayaw ko lang ma-misinterpret.

      And yes, alam ko yan. Di ko ine-expect na sasang-ayon sa kin ang lahat ng makakabasa ng stories ko.

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    7. LQ!

      #makaepallanglol
      #bakitakokinikilig?

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  4. "how to be a friend a great one deserves." - napaisip ako dito. Paano mo masasabing deserving ang tao para maging kaibigan mo? Sa kwento mo ba si Adam hindi deserving dahil nang iwan siya nung mga panahong bulag siya sa pag ibig? Hindi ba't lahat naman tayo'y nagiging bulag sa pag ibig? Who are we to abandon someone and call him not deserving of our friendship if we ourselves had been blinded by love as well? I just find this self-righteous-ish and bigot-ish

    Sorry nadala lang naawa kasi talaga ako kay Adam.

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    1. Teka lang. Di ba naging malinaw yung epiphany ko? Aling part dun ang nagsasabing hindi naging deserving si Adam na maging friend ko?

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    2. It's a question mark di ba not a period. My sentence is interrogative not declarative

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    3. What part of question mark you didn't understand?

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    4. Alam kong questions yon. Interrogative in an accusatory way. At hindi mo sinagot ang tanong ko.

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    5. Nomad, you were kind of accusing him already with your questions.

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    6. Also, you did call him self-righteous and bigot-ish, which is already accusatory in itself without taking into consideration that Geosef already realized that by himself (no thanks to you).

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    7. Awat na ha. Okay na po. Thanks Anon.

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    8. And by the way "ANONYMOUS-WHO-DOESNT-HAVE-BALLS" you don't know us.. Me and Geosef so better back off!

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    9. Oi mag-chill lang kayo. Awat na ha. Tama na.

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  5. I frowned a bit at the part where I read you and your friends didn't reach back to Adam, when he was trying to get back in touch with you. Understandable that you guys were hurt with what happened but you're still his friends no matter what. He needed your company and I'm sure was going to apologize. Ganun ata talaga pag in love ang mga tao, lalo na ang mga gaya natin, nababaliw ng very mild! Hehe, so extra understanding and supportive tayo dapat sa isa't isa.

    I hope it isn't too late and I hope there's a chance again for you to all work things out and be friends again :)

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    1. That was our mistake. Pero ako lang ang nag-iisip non. Masama pa di ang loob nila. And mataas pa din ang pride. *sigh*

      Sana nga Zai... Thanks

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  6. nadistract ako. ang sexy ng lips. eeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha

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    1. Hala, out of topic lang? *hahaha!*

      Yung sayo nga eh o! Tignan mo. Ang seksi. Kita pa ang singit! :P

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    2. monthsary namin eh. happy vibes

      besides, matagal nang issue ito. and i think nagkaron na ng realizations. anyway, nagkukwento lang naman tayung lahat.

      worst thing that could happen is that we make the same mistake even after the opportunity na natuto sana tayu sa iba

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    3. Wow naman. Happy monthsary sa inyo Seth. :)

      Yes, last year pa ito, and til now di pa nare-resolve. Pero ang importante, alam ko na ang gagawin once na nakita ko ulit si Adam. :)

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  7. To each his own. Iba iba tayo ng reaksyon pero naawa ako kay Adam. As a minority group, mahirap para satin maghanap ng masasandalan sa mga ganyang sitwasyon. At least you learned a lesson. Dont do ot next time ha.

    I agree. Bumobobo ang tao pagdating sa pagibig

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    1. Yes, now I know better. :)

      Naranasan ko na din to dati, so naintindihan ko si Adam. I'm naranasan na din to nung iba, kaso mataas pa ang pride ng mga bakla. :P

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  8. Some things must come to an end. If I were in your shoes, I'd show up. Listen. But if it's not worth it anymore, I'd disconnect, little by little.

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  9. Bakit ang sakit naman ng ginawa niyo kay Adam? Nagmahal lang naman siya sa maling tao. Naging tanga lang siya. Pero kayo, pride na ang pinairal niyo. Kung titimbangin, sino ang mas masama?

    Affected much? :)

    Hello po!

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    1. Hi. :)

      Na-realize ko na po yan actually. But thanks for giving your opinion.

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  10. The worst thing about lying is when one lies to himself. I can't believe na hinyaan niya ang sarili na mahulog sa isang "too good to be true" guy. Pero madalas talaga ma-bobo ang tao dahil sa pag-ibig.

    Sa issue naman ng friendship. Well, it was really harsh. One should be quick to forgive. If you believe in quality relationships with friends, you must also consider being gracious. To err is human, to forgive is divine. I don't want to be preachy. Mahirap naman talaga magpatawad eh. Kahit ako, hindi ko pa rin mapatawad yung isang dating kaibigan. Kasi hindi ko rin mapagkakatiwalaan. Sa case naman siguro ni Adam, baka naman pinagsisihan na niya at handa na siya magbago.

    Again, ayoko maging hypocrite. Kahit ako, nahihirapan pa rin ako patawarin sila. Pero tayo pa rin talaga ang nawawalan, at bilang mga kaibigan we have to be better than that. Kaya nga kailangan natin ang mga kaibigan, dahil for better or worse, ibabalik nila tayo sa dating daan na tinatahak natin at sasamahan pa rin nila tayo.

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    1. Wow Mr. Tripster, thanks for the lengthy at malaman na comment. :)

      I like your views, especially pagdating forgiving at sa friendship. I am still waiting for the day na magkaayos ulit kami.

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