FOREWORD ~ THIS BLOG CONTAINS HOMOSEXUAL STORIES WITH EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Much Has Been Settled

Two Saturdays ago, my mobile phone rang while I was busy at work. It was Rey.

"Tol, nahanap na namin yung blog mo," he said, in a singsong voice.

I was shocked. I didn't expect that he would find it that quickly.

"Shit..." I said, trying to hide my surprise, "What do you mean by 'namin'?"

"Si Theo yung nakahanap, binalita ko lang sa'yo," he said coolly.

I lost, so I just did the next thing I know I could do.

"Tol, please don't read it," I pleaded.

He asked mockingly, "At bakit naman hindi?"

Thinking of all the things I shared here, I was starting to get panicky, and I didn't mind hiding it when I answered, "Kasi if gusto kong mabasa ninyo ang mga nakasulat doon, eh di sana matagal ko nang binigay yung URL. Hindi para sa mga mata ninyo ang blog ko. Please lang tol."

"Eh sorry ka, nakita na namin eh," he said, still teasing me.

My best friend knows exactly if I'm already stressed. I made my voice serious.

"Di ako nagbibiro," I threatened.

"Kanina pa kaya nagbabasa si Theo," he said, brushing me off.

"Sabihin mo tumigil siya! Stay away from it pakiusap lang!" I said, raising my voice.

From playful, his voice turned sour as he answered, "Ano bang problema mo tol? Hindi ko pa nakikita yung blog mo, wala pa rin naman kasi akong time magbasa!"

"Basta! Sabihin mo diyan sa boyfriend mo na tantanan niya ang blog ko!" I hissed.

I dropped the call, sighing deeply. Why are you so upset? It's Rey, your best friend. Whatever he discovers there, for sure he won't judge you easily; without doubt, he'll understand, albeit nonetheless perplexed. Theo's the same. They are very open-minded. What's with the panicking?

I found myself staring into space when the answer struck me. Because if they can easily find your blog, then it means other people you personally know won't have a hard time too... You are not unrecognizable as much as you think you are...

I sighed again. The solution was right in front of me. I was overwhelmed with regret as it began to sink in. You have to close down your blog. Now.

***

After that rather stressful phone call, the couple was silent for a week. I used the time to cool my head off. I knew I have to talk to them personally, so I dropped by their printing shop last Sunday afternoon.

"Hey, musta na?" I greeted them.

They were warm and friendly, as usual, as if nothing ever happened a week ago. After some small talk, I told them the main purpose of my visit.

"So... Paano niyo nahanap yung blog ko?" I asked, smiling.

I could tell that the topic made them uncomfortable. They became silent, measuring up my mood. Theo held my gaze, while Rey turned away. After several seconds, I saw Theo nudged Rey using his elbow.

"Anong blog tol? Meron ka pala nun?" Rey said, feigning ignorance. I couldn't tell if he's joking or not.

After looking at Rey and pausing shortly, Theo was the one who provided the answer, "Nahanap namin thru yung Wickedmouth website."

"Oh? Paano?" I asked, genuinely puzzled.

"You gave us a copy of his book di ba? And nakwento mo dati na palagi kang nagbabasa dun. So we checked his latest post, then inisa-isa namin yung mga nag-comment. Until, ayun, we stumbled upon your page. Banner pa lang, alam ko na agad na ikaw," Theo explained.

"Eh kasi naman tol, gagamit ka na lang ng screen name, yung obvious pa," Rey added, finally meeting my eyes.

I don't know exactly why, but I snickered. I found the story somehow amusing.

"Pero pagtingin namin, naka-private na agad eh... Madaya ka," Rey said, upon seeing my reaction.

"Sorry naman, nag-panic ako eh. O siya, io-open ko na ulit. Basta ipangako niyo na walang makakalabas sa inyo. Please?" I asked, "And kung ano man mga mababasa niyo doon, please keep an open mind."

"Lalo tuloy ako na-curious," Theo said, beaming.

Meanwhile, I saw Rey frowning, so I quizzed him, "Bakit? Ano pa problema?"

"Naalala ko lang, bakit 'Rey' ang name ko dun? Ang panget! Buti pa yung kay Theo, maganda pakinggan. Ang dami naman iba, bakit yun pa binigay mo sa akin?" he complained.

"Eh anong gusto mo itawag ko sa'yo? 'Rhiannon'?" I said, laughing.

"Di mo man lang ginawang 'Ashton' o kaya 'Claude'..." Rey sulked.

"Sorry ka, mas bagay sa'yo ang 'Rey' eh," Theo answered, winking at me.

***

P.S. Rey and Theo, before I forget, I hope you can forgive me for featuring your love story here without your consent. I wasn't able to ask you before because I was keeping this blog a secret. Just tell me if you want it removed. But for the love of God, please don't. Anyway, expect the unexpected here, and enjoy reading!

33 comments:

  1. Your blog's starting to become like Bookie. I dunno but in some ways, in some aspect it has become like his.

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    Replies
    1. Anyway, good to hear everything's resolved :)

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    2. How come? Because of my writing style? Or context-wise? I have yet to backread Bookie's blog, so I have no idea. :P

      Not everything is resolved though. But I'm getting by somehow.

      Delete
    3. At least di ba one by one na re-resolve yan.

      Ewan ko habang binabasa ko entry mo there was a moment na feeling ko si Bookie binabasa ko.

      Delete
  2. So this is the reason kaya biglang nawala ang blog na ito nang ivi-visit ko sana noong isang araw. Akala ko tuloy closed for good na mabuti naman at hindi pa. Ang husay maghanap ng mga friend mo pwedeng magtrabaho sa investigating agency, hehe.
    Welcome back! More stories to come and to share na rin. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na-miss ko rin ang blog ko, kaya buti na lang naayos ko agad. :)

      Thanks Kuya Ramil!

      Delete
  3. Kaya pala biglang nawala kamakailan. Anyway buti binalik mo

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  4. Hmmm... kaya pala bigla kang nanahimik lately Sep? pati nga yung FB mo bigla din de-activated lol

    Anyways, kung ayaw mo talagang may iba pang makakilala sa iyo dito, you should at least change your blog name hihihi. Para hindi ka madaling ma-trace ng mga nakakakilala sa'yo :D

    Ayun, welcome back!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pwes, mag-iingay na ko ulit! *mwahaha*

      Oks na ko sa blog name ko, ayaw ko na palitan. Come what may na lang. *hehe* Thanks Fiel.

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  5. At blog ko pala ang salarin haha. Well that's lesson learned for you! Focus on changing what was easily recognizable hehe. And keep your two friends close hehe.

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    Replies
    1. Di ko rin in-expect yun idol. Sa dinami-rami ng gay blogs na tinatambayan ko, yung website mo pa ang naging daan para mahanap nila ko. *haha*

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  6. You're so back babysepsep! Good :) ahihi.. Kung matuwa naman ako as if naman may mapupulot akong aral dito! Lols.. For sure naman meron, sa ending na lang ako lagi magbabasa :P and we prolly share the same satisfaction writing can bring.... Take it slow, hindi minamadali, maayos din ang lahat, sa tamang panahon at maayos na usapan.

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    Replies
    1. Di ko nga alam kung bakit pabalik-balik ka dito eh. *hahaha* Thanks babykat. :*

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  7. Yan ang hirap sa mga anonymous bloggers. All out when veiled in secrecy, but when an acquaintance steps into the inner sanctum of your hidden sphere, your world turns upside down. Hahaha! I know how it feels. It's not like I've written a lot of ... hmmm... how can i put it in words... controversial stuff?

    Anyway, it's good to see you back on track.

    It's really good to write as an anonymous blogger naman talaga. It feels like you are not answerable to anybody, and people judge what's actually in your mind and readers are not conditioned with the way you look, your sexual orientation, or your character. Your own words are weighed. And for me that's important- that people see and judge what you think, and not exclusively on what you feel.

    And besides, it's more fun this way. I remember in Chuck Palahniuk's novel "Invisible Monsters"-

    "The most boring thing in the entire world," Brandy says, "is nudity."

    "The second most boring thing is honesty...."

    Kasi para mas curious ang tao dahil hindi nila ma figure out kung sino ka and yet they know everything about your life.

    Minsan pa nga, when you're writing something about an issue or a particular situation that happened in your life, it allows you to think outside the box and analyze them from a different perspective. yun nga lang, wala nang thrill kapag nagkaalaman na. But then, I'm a tad bit agoraphobic. I feel like I'm a voyeuristic monster. I just look, but i never reveal myself. Basag trip lang kapag may nakaalam ng
    mga lihim.

    Anyway, may thoughts are in fragments. Sige na, good night!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You pointed out lots of interesting things with your comment, Mr. T. :)

      I think na sa mga genre and stories I share here, necessary lang talaga na maging anon ako, lalo't hindi naman ako out masyado sa personal life ko. But thanks for sharing that quote from Palahniuk; it makes so much sense. *hehe*

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  8. No wonder your blog went private for awhile

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  9. ah, un pala ang reason.. i had to call someone pa to verify na baka ako lang ung hindi invited reader sa blog mo.. hehehehe

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who's that someone? *hehe* I'm very sorry for the confusion Ceiboh. :3

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    2. basta si someone na close friend ko, you met him na before then nagpa-hello pa nga ako sa kanya... (just to give you an idea)

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    3. *hmmm* Wala pa rin ako idea kung sino. Sorry, ulyanin na ko... :P

      Delete
  10. Next time wag mo na banggitin sa friends mo na may blog ka hihihi

    pero atleast may new readers ka.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, never ko naman nabanggit sa kanila na blogger ako. I forgot to ask them how they found out. *hmmm*

      Delete
  11. so kaya pala nyahaha kung sabagay nasabi mo naman sa akin yung reason kung bakit mo sya niclose nyahahaha... lagot ka lolz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wapakels na lang ako kung may reaction sila sa mga mababasa nila dito. Ginusto nila yan eh. *hehe*

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  12. basta masaya ako na nagbabalik ka. :)

    minsan masarap maging anonymous ka rin sa mga friends mo. wala lang minsan nabibiktima tayo sa pagseself edit pag alam nating may kakilala tayong magbabasa.

    hehe pero im glad talaga na heto ka na ulit. hehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think naman na they will follow my blog faithfully, kasi busy rin silang mga tao. *hehe*

      I'm glad as well KC. Hugs!

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    2. e chismosa ang mga yan! chos. hahaha pero jusko kung ako ang kaibigan mo at nabasa ko ito, hinding hindi ko na ito bibitawan!!!! haha

      Delete
  13. Mawawala din cguro ang blog ko pg nalmn ni moon

    Atleast all is well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bakit naman? Wholesome naman ang blog mo ah? :)

      Delete

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