Neverending Nuances

Monday.

"Ano ba ang nangyayari sa'yo?" she asked.

My eyes shot upwards. I was slightly surprised by the sudden query for I didn't see her enter the room.

"Magkwento ka nga sa akin," she prodded.

"Wala ito," I said, focusing back on my brunch.

"Anong wala? Tulala ka na naman 'no," she quizzed, "Napapansin ko na palagi kang balisa lately. Parang ang lalim lagi ng iniisip mo."

"Pagod lang siguro sa trabaho," I lied.

She was silent for a moment. I could feel her unwavering gaze. She was studying me, trying to penetrate through my defense.

"Dahil ba 'yan kay Ace, o dahil kay Uno?" she continued.

I felt my jaw tighten. I gave her another glance and sighed. It was apparent that I won't be able to shake her off. I forgot that she knows a fraction of the story.

"Kahit ako hindi ko alam kung bakit," I said.

Deep concern was painted on her face. I saw it. I felt my eyes moisten. I did my best to fight back the urge.

She exhaled loudly and said, "Kung ano man 'yan, pilitin mong hindi isipin. Mamaya kung ano pa mangyari sa'yo dahil diyan. Ayusin mo kasi buhay mo ha. Malaki ka na. Alam mo na ang tama sa mali."

"Opo... Baka marinig pa kayo ni Papa... Thanks Ma," I replied before she walked away.

I need help.

***

Tuesday.

Nakakubli sa ilalim ng mga kumot ang tunay na nadarama. Ang lubusang pag-aalala. Ang hindi matapos-tapos na pag-iisip. Ipapahalata ko ba? O ipipinta ko na lamang sa mga pader?

Katabi kita na parang hindi. Nasa aking mga bisig na unti-unting namimitig.

Bakit wala akong madama? Bakit sadyang walang natatanging bigat ang mga salitang naririnig mula sa iyo? Ang pag-ibig na ito ay tila isang susing nagbukas sa hawla ng mga halimaw na nakapiit sa madilim na sulok ng aking isip.

"Sana tanggapin mo kung sino ako," ang sabi mo.

Marahil ang mga sagot ay nariyan na. Mistulang humahalo sa ilaw na nagbibigay liwanag sa kwartong ito. Ngunit nakatuon ang aking atensyon sa madilim na parte ng iyong kama.

Nais ko nang limutin ang lalaking pinapakita ng mga larawan sa loob ng aking pitaka. Habaan mo pa ang iyong pasensiya; piliting unawain ang aking mga kahinaan.

Ako ang may problema.

***

Wednesday.

As soon as he entered the door, I knew something was wrong. Or rather what's different.

"Naka-tsongki ka na naman 'no?" I greeted after taking one good look at him.

He grinned and said, "Ganon ba kahalata?"

"Medyo. Siraulo ka talaga. Kapag ikaw nahuli..." I warned.

"Ililigo ko na lang 'to," he said, talking more to himself than me.

I returned my attention to my phone, clearly indifferent as he stripped down to his undies. After a minute, I heard the closing of the bathroom door, and then the shower being turned on. My mind wandered off.

After several minutes, I noticed something weird. The bathroom was somewhat quiet. Yes, the water was audibly running, but there were no splashes or any sound of movement coming from inside. I immediately knew what was up, so I made my approach.

I crouched down and peeked though the familiar gap on the door. Through this gap, one can directly see the toilet. And as I looked, I saw that he was sitting on top of it.

He was naked and wet, with his legs widely spread. He was already in the midst of pleasuring himself. Evidently, his cock is above average. Puberty is still not done with him and yet he's already sporting a thick 6-incher. It looked juicy and delicious right then and there. I noticed I was smiling, for I realized that that wasn't really a surprise since his older brothers have the same trait; it clearly runs in their blood.

I continued to watch, hypnotized by the craziness of what I was seeing. It didn't take much long before his body began to tense and his strokes became wilder. He let out a soft moan as jets of cum shot out onto his body. His milky juice continue to ooze as he panted heavily.

That was one hell of a sight.

I snapped back to my senses. My knees felt weak and my heartbeat was very fast. I was out of breath as well. I stood up and went back to the couch.

I shook my head and smiled sheepishly after another realization.

I am one sick bastard.