More than a month has passed since Ace and I ended our relationship. I used a previous entry as a metaphor for one of our last conversations.
I'm sorry if I still can't tell all the details regarding what happened. I have yet to resist getting plunged into a moment of sadness whenever I think about all of it.
All I can say is that everything was my fault. I am to blame for all that transpired.
I am still angry at myself. I have yet to forgive the nasty little guy inside me. That miniature bastard that, in spite of everything I have learned and experienced so far in my wretched homosexual life, still needs to grow up.
Maybe someday, I'll finally be able to talk about it. But I don't think it would be soon.
Maybe once I accepted my weaknesses; when all the wounds have healed.
A recent conversation with my best friend...
Rey: Sep, ano yung naririnig ko na blog mo? Balita ko meron ka daw ah?
Me: Sino nagsabi sa'yo? Wala 'yun. Wag mo na alamin.
Rey: Dali na... Ano nga? Ang damot mo...
Me: Wala nga... Puro shit lang ang nandoon. Wag ka na mag-abala...
Rey: *hmp* Ah basta, hahanapin ko 'yang blog mo. Expert pa naman ako sa internet. Mahahanap ko rin 'yan, hintayin mo...
Me: Uh oh... *gulp*
Tinatamad na kong mag-blog.
Kaso nanghihinayang ako dun sa mga nakapila sa drafts ko. Marami-rami pa 'yun. Mga kwento, opinyon, at kung ano-anong kabaklaan at kalaswaan. Gaya ng mga nasa ibaba; all set na ang topic, isusulat na lang.
Pero wala pa talaga akong ganang magsulat. Maghahanap muna ako ng gana; baka nandiyan lang sa paligid, pakalat-kalat.
Sa ngayon, blog-hopping muna ang trip ko. :)