Letter Break 11 ~ One Less Thing To Write About

Did you know that I hate writing?

For me, it has always been an irritating chore. I prefer sharing a story using my mouth rather than my hands. Like in sex.

Back when I was still a student, whenever my teacher says, "Ok, get one whole sheet of paper. May test tayo, essay," expect that my groans are one of the loudest in the room. I would rather have an oral recitation instead of that shitty excuse for a quiz. On test papers during quarterly exams, I get cranky whenever I see words such as 'explain', 'compare and contrast', 'discuss', 'expound', 'describe', and the likes. Why couldn't it be matching type, the easiest of them all?

I just find writing too tiresome; it requires so much time and effort. Aside from the complex rules of grammar, you also have to mind your tone, vocabulary, and diction. A large amount of brain cells must be exhausted in a single task alone. You are already aware about the degree of AJ's laziness, right? And if you include Joan's obsessive-compulsive behavior in the mix, then a halfhearted work just won't do.

Aside from me being a sloth, I am also left-handed. Believe me, it's twice as hard writing from left to right using the left hand, especially if the notebook you're using is a spiral-type and your armchair was designed to be used by a right-handed person. It becomes so frustrating that you'll constantly curse your brain for its right-dominance. And then there are the worse things, such as having ink stains or lead marks on the side of your palm after using a ballpoint pen or pencil, or getting your work messy when your hand slides over it. These grind my gears every time without fail.

Anyway, you might be wondering now. If that's the case, then how did I become a blogger? What caused me to become one?

In celebration of ADMV's 1st anniversary, let me share with you my humble beginnings.

It all started around May of 2013. I was at work, bored and with nothing else to do. Well, we all know that boredom could bring forth sinful things, so I craved for what I'm especially fond of: gay porn. One quick Google search, and—voila!—countless webpages appeared right in front of my eyes, all for my heart's content. After getting tired of drooling at pictures of sweaty, naked, muscular men, I switched to online LGBT articles, and lastly into erotica. I hopped through various blogs, from Manila Gay Guy to Mandaya Moore, from Discreet Manila to Ms. Chuniverse, and a handful more of others.

There was this one blog though, that made me stay. It was McVie's.

McVie's tales of bathhouse adventures greatly piqued my interest. His writing style was unpretentious and easy to read; his experiences, unique and engaging; and his views were profound as well as thought-provoking. After starting his blog on January of 2004, he had already accumulated a lot of readers, signifying that he is no ordinary blogger. It made me more curious about who he is as a homosexual, so I decided to dig deeper. His blog is made up 'seasons', divided into 5 separate blogs, and is currently on its 13th run. He calls it 'The McVie Show'. In a span of 2 1/2 months, I have read all of his post, from Season 1 up to the latest. It was no easy feat, I tell you, but it was nevertheless enjoyable.

He had influenced me with his stories. I was able to relate to him, to feel his emotions and understand the meaning behind his words. In a way, I idolized him; I had this burning desire to be like him.

And then, an epiphany presented itself.

I realized that I, too, have experiences worth sharing; stories containing important lessons which must no longer be kept hidden. I wanted to touch the lives of others just like how McVie touched mine. Call it melodramatic, but it's the truth. At first, I wasn't sure how to execute it for Literature isn't really my forte—I took Nursing, for God's sake—but I was determined to push through.

I wanted to own a blog that could offer something new and different in terms of format, if not of content. I wanted it to feature accounts of my not-so-innocent experiences in steamy and titillating ways, while keeping them relatable and inspiring at the same time. I wanted my life to be immortalized somehow. Hence, Alfabeto Della Mia Vita was born, and my life as an anonymous blogger has begun.

I consolidated 26 stories from my childhood up to the present, assigning each to a letter of the alphabet, with several more stories serving as a break between the major ones. Then, I drafted myself a strict schedule indicating the specific publish dates of each post, which I found something extremely difficult to follow considering that I'm not really a professional writer. Fortunately, with the encouragement Ace was constantly giving me, I was able to handle everything pretty well.

I envisioned ADMV to be a miniature novel, and I intended to discontinue writing after I finished the last letter. That was actually my initial plan, until I realized an important thing.

I no longer want to stop.

The truth is, I expected myself to give up halfway. I thought that it's just an obsession I should start immersing myself into, which sooner or later, I would no longer have the desire to fulfill. But I was wrong. I never thought that I would enjoy doing it. I could say that I was even quite surprised when I realized that.

I consider myself extremely lucky for my efforts were recognized early on. I was successful in catching the attention of several amazing bloggers namely FSOQ, Nomad, Seth, Senyor Iskwater, KC, Ambot, and JM. With their positive feedbacks and supportive comments, I was inspired to do more, to give my 100% in each and every entry I write. In a span of one year, I was also able to connect with so many interesting bloggers, such as Glentot, Ceiboh, Mac Callister, Space, Kuya Ramil, Gillboard, Sir OP, Simon, Zai, Mr. Tripster, the lovers Jjampong and Vic, Jeki Merlin, Daniel, and Froi Dencio to name a few. I was blessed to have met in person a handful of wonderful bloggers as well, such as Yccos, Archieviner, Mamon, Jei, Kulapitot, June, Rix, Cher Jonathan, Mark Patatas, Fiel-kun, Bino, and Axl. Also worthy of mention are the silent and anonymous readers who spend time every now and then in making their presence felt, such as John, Jo, Ren, and the Anon who's desperate to be raped.

If not for you guys, I won't be able to last this long. I owe you so much, the numerous pageviews and comments. I hope you were able to learn something from me as much as I learned a lot from you. I discovered a whole new incredible realm in the form of the blogosphere. Here's to another year of good and fruitful stories.

Truly, there is joy in writing.