Quintessential Hypocrite

Hypocrisy seems to be much more common than common sense nowadays. You can see hypocrites almost anywhere; on TV, at school or at work, on your neighborhood, or in the government. The blogosphere is teeming with them as well, but let's not dwell on that. Most are subtle, while some are just unbelievably blatant. Heck, even I am guilty of being one every now and then. I'm sure you are too, don't deny it.

However, there is one person I know whose hypocrisy is one of the worst I've seen. He's so bad, that if ever there would be an international contest for hypocrites, he would surely bag the first prize. This person is my current boss, Sir JR. And believe me, you wouldn't want to personally know how awful he is.

It is common knowledge in our company that no one likes Sir JR. He is very condescending and a know-it-all. Everyone's mood becomes sour whenever he opens his overbearing mouth. I think he's even lucky that he's yet to receive an anonymous death threat from a fed up coworker. I would give him one if I could, just for fun.

His managerial skills are extremely disappointing, if not laughable. He often gives us a ton of work, including his own responsibilities. Whenever he fucks up, he always put the blame on us, his subordinates. On the other hand, if it's a job well done, he's quicker than Usain Bolt in taking all the credit for himself, even though he gave little to no effort. Sir JR is the office's biggest jerk, with zero sense of accountability.

There was this one time when he told us that he must attend a very important meeting in another building. Then something urgent came up, so we tried to look for him where he said he would be, but he was nowhere to be found. And when we asked him the next day where he'd been, he just ignored us, saying that it's none of our business. That how terrible he is. And that's just one example among so many more.

A lot of us are wondering why no one in the higher management still hasn't fire him. They clearly dislike him too, so why do they continue to put up with his detestable attitude?

One of us concluded that he must be skilled in worming his way out of trouble. He's an expert in finger-pointing, and he could be quite a smooth talker. He has this certain charm that he utilizes whenever he wants something from someone. Maybe that's why he's always successful in avoiding sanctions. He's a rat. A dirty fucking rat.

In spite of the negative things I've said about him, these are not the reason behind my overwhelming hate towards him. There is another one, the reason why I dubbed him as the quintessential hypocrite.

When Sir JR interviewed me when I was still an applicant, the first thing I noticed was that he is gay. The way he moves and talks, the tone of his voice, and his overall appearance. I was pretty confident with my gaydar's observations. When I started working for him, imagine my surprise when I learned that he classifies himself as a heterosexual.

I overheard him once when he was talking with his co-manager, and it sent a terrifying chill down my spine.

"Alam mo, nakakapagod na nga lately eh. Andami nang chicks ang nagpapakita sa akin ng motibo. Mukhang effective ang gym membership ko," he said, chuckling, "Ang fluffy ko na, di ba?"

"Putangina, puke mo fluffy! Gripuhan kita sa tagiliran diyan eh, makita mo..." I whispered to myself.

I actually pitied whoever he was talking to. Hearing those words could probably cause someone into having thoughts of suicide. Well, I did, actually.

That truth is, Sir JR is neither handsome nor muscled. He looks exactly like a gremlin, with a protruding large tummy. The only positive things about his appearance are his light skin and smooth complexion. Other than that, he is one unsightly creature.

Fortunately, no one buys his 'I am straight' bullshit. For them, he is obviously an in denial homosexual. But for me, he is a frustrated piece of shit with very poor straight-acting skills.

Now, don't get me wrong here, I have nothing against straight-acting PLUs; I am one myself. What really ignited my hatred is this one instance that happened at work months ago. Remembering it never fails to grind my gears.

Here in our company, homosexuals are an abundance. One could say that we are the majority, from subtle pamintas to flamboyant effeminates. One afternoon, I was discussing a task with Sir JR when a flaming effem, named Sasha if I'm not mistaken, walked by.

Whenever I come across Sasha, I'm always at awe. He has long, silky hair and a skinny body frame. His dark complexion accentuates his height. He's tall, dark, and beautiful; someone who has a chance in winning a beaucon. He often wears sexy branded outfits, and he's fond of showcasing his collection of high-heeled shoes. He is well-liked by many because of his unique humor and his darling attitude.

As he walked gracefully past us, I saw Sir JR threw him a disgusted look.

"Kadiri namang bakla to. Nakakasuka na ang pinaggagagawa. Gandang-ganda lang sa sarili," he said, shaking his head before smirking.

I was flustered with what I heard so I wasn't able to immediately react to his nasty remark.

"Yung mga ganyang bakla dapat sa parlor lang. Dapat tanggalin na yung mga ganyan dito para umaliwalas ang paligid. Ang sakit sa mata eh," he continued insensitively.

I stopped myself from answering back, "Insecure ka lang, inggiterang froglet!" All I wanted that moment was to drive the pen I'm holding in one of his eye sockets, but I resisted the urge. That's how Sir JR affects me every time he speaks; he drives me to become a violent psychopath.

He continued to mumble obscenities about Sasha. My patience was wearing thin little by little, and I don't want to commit murder right then and there, so I decided to block his words out of my mind.

As a member of the LGBT community, I have learned to respect others' choice of how they'll live their life as a homosexual. Respect begets respect, and with that, Sir JR clearly deserves none. He is hypocrisy personified. Having absolutely no right to insult Sasha when he is a trying-hard straight-acting effem himself, sans the hair and outfits, he had completely crossed the line. Don't you hate it when someone who's obviously gay berates or demeans another PLU? It makes my blood boil every time. We long for equality from the eyes of heterosexuals, and yet we continue to discriminate our own. A very sad truth.

As long as there are people like Sir JR who roam the Earth, the future is bleak.