As far as I can remember, never ko pa yatang naipakilala ang sarili ko ng maayos. I feel na kahit yung introduction that I wrote at the beginning isn't really enough to help you paint an exact picture of my personality. Maybe you already know most of what happened in my life, but have no idea about me as a person.
The stories I tell, the experiences I share, and the opinions I give—well, I am much more than that.
Cliche nang maituturing na makita yung adjective na 'simple' sa mga slam books and self-descriptions, so I'm not gonna use it. I think wala naman talagang taong simple. Masyado lang pa-humble effect ang karamihan sa atin. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am actually a very complex individual. Sobra-sobra to the point na maski ako nalilito na.
Sa totoo lang, there are six people living inside me. Yes, parang may Multiple Personality Disorder lang. May mga times kasi na hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko. There are things I do that are clearly out of character, I make decisions that I wouldn't normally make, and there are behaviors that contradict the other ones I have. That's why 'yun lang ang naisip ko na explanation behind it.
Buti nga at anim lang sila e. Wag naman sanang madagdagan pa, juice ko. Feeling ko tuloy minsan, dapat na ko magpakonsulta sa isang psychiatrist. *hahaha*
Therefore, the reason behind this post is for you to know me better. So please, hayaan niyo muna ako ngayong maging self-centered. Mag-bubuhat muna ako ng sariling bangko. Don't worry, pagkatapos eh ilalapag ko rin naman 'yun sa sahig.
Anyway, without further ado, I present to you my 6 personae.
1) Geosef
The author of this blog, if hindi mo pa alam.
He's my artistic persona. The one whose creative juices are sky high. Arts lang ang hilig niya noon, so I had no idea na may skills din pala siya sa pagsusulat. I just discovered it nung sinimulan ko itong 'Alfabeto Della Mia Vita'. It actually came as a surprise to me.
Contrary sa inaakala niyo, Geosef is not my bad side. Oo, maalam siya pagdating sa sex, at kagagawan niya yung mga malalaswang kwento na mababasa niyo dito; always nag-uumapaw ang level ng libido niya kaya palaging tag-libog—parang rabbit lang, maya't-maya kumakadyot. However, the truth is I consider him my moral compass.
Nope, I'm not toying with you. Among the six, siya ang pinaka-mature mag-isip. I revere him for this. Being innately inquisitive, he's the one who collects all the knowledge and wisdom from my experiences in life, and the one who knows exactly what to choose between what is right and what is easy. Because of these, Geosef learned how to become just and reasonable.
He knows best ika nga; he's a great adviser. Siya yung madalas kumukuda whenever someone asks me for advice. When an obstacle presents itself, siya ang takbuhan ko. But unfortunately, most of the time, his words fall on deaf ears. I always fail to listen to him because of Jacob. You'll soon know why.
2) Jacob
The wicked.
Jacob is someone who is difficult to antagonize. Kahit si Geosef ay walang panama sa kanya. Masyado kasing competitive at dominant, palaging gusto niya ang dapat masusunod (*ehem* lalo na sa kama). Ang kakulitan niya sa pag-push ng gusto niya ay inversely proportional sa willingness niya na makinig. Uber pasaway at likas na matigas ang ulo; walang kwenta kahit hambalusin mo ng hollow blocks. Dahil dito, palaging siya ang panalo, sa kasamaang palad.
I don't really trust his choices, irrational kasi siya kung mag-isip. Being a risk-taker with a short-attention span, palagi lang sugod ng sugod without considering the situation beforehand. And then may tendency siya na madaling mag-sawa afterwards. May ADHD ata 'to.
But the worst thing about Jacob isn't his stubbornness. It's actually his pride. Ubod 'to ng taas, daig pa ang level ng libido ni Geosef. I think this is the main reason behind his personality. His pride is so enormous that it would be extremely difficult for him to swallow all of it in one bite, something that rarely happens, if at all.
However, may alam akong isang bagay na surebol tatalo kay Jacob. Sigurado ako dahil nagamit ko na 'to before against him. Wanna guess what it is?
It is love. Yep, that's right. Corny man, pero I can't deny that it's true. Ito ang matinding sandata ko against Jacob. Tried and tested nang maaasahan 'to.
3) AJ
The default.
This is my neutral self, yung laging nakaharap sa tao.
When meeting someone new for the first time, super mahiyain si AJ. Hindi masyadong kumikibo, nangingilala muna. Pero once na nakapalagayan na niya ng loob, nagiging makulit na siya at madaldal. Mahilig siyang mang-lambing, lalo na sa kanyang loved ones, and he values his friends a lot. Masayang-masaya siya kapag napapatawa niya ang mga ito using his sense of humor.
Isip-bata ang persona kong ito. Mahilig pa rin sa video games and anime hanggang ngayon. He's playful and energetic at times, especially towards his siblings and cousins.
Kung ano ang pagka-dominant ni Jacob, ganoon naman ang pagiging submissive ni AJ. People-pleaser kasi siya; he's not used to turn down requests or favors. Dahil dito, AJ hates confrontations. He finds them extremely uncomfortable and nerve-wracking. As much as possible, lagi niya itong iniiwasan. He always clams up whenever someone confronts him; hindi siya mapakali if alam niyang merong taong upset sa kanya. Hindi siya makakatulog ng maayos kapag ganon.
Geosef has the sound mind, Jacob owns the strong will, while he is left with the weak heart. *tsk tsk* Poor guy.
One more thing about AJ ay ang kanyang natatanging katamaran. Nag-uumapaw actually. Gusto niyo malaman kung gaano?
One time, nakahiga ako sa sofa at nanonood ng TV. Nung natapos ang paborito kong show, isang documentary about sa fungi ang sumunod. I tried to find the remote, but it was nowhere to be seen. So instead na tumayo ako to switch the channel manually (take note, the TV is only three feet away), tiniis ko na lang na panoorin yung palabas. Ako lang ang mag-isa sa bahay kaya wala akong matawag para utusan. Isang buong oras 'yun na tungkol lang sa kabute, por Diyos por santo.
Nung dumating yung isa kong kapatid from school, pinalipat ko sa kanya yung channel. Tinignan niya lang ako ng masama tapos biglang lumapit. Akala ko papaluin niya ako pero may inabot siya sa bandang ulunan ko sabay tinapat sa mukha ko. Pagtingin ko, hawak niya yung remote. Nginitian ko na lang siya at nag-'thank you'. I tried to search for it on that spot earlier, pero wala eh. Well, I guess hindi lang talaga ako nag-effort na maghanap.
Hayahay... Kapag nakasapi talaga sa akin si AJ, nagkakaroon ako bigla ng PhD sa pagiging couch potato.
4) Third
The simpleton. The complete opposite of Geosef.
Siya ang dahilan kung bakit madalas akong sabihan ng nanay ko na isang 'matalinong tanga'. Mabagal siya sa pick-up at mahina ang logic. Minsan, kahit sobrang obvious na, hindi pa rin niya ma-gets. To the highest level ang pagiging naive niya. *whew*
Bukod sa pagiging engots, may tatlong bagay pa akong ayaw kay Third.
Una sa lahat, mabilis siyang ma-in love. Pakitaan lang ng kaunting interes, madali na agad ma-fall. Kapag nangyayari ito, lagot na. Bago ko pa siya mapigilan, huli na ang lahat. Siya ang may kasalanan sa mga failed relationships ko. Epic fail.
Second ay ang tendency niyang maging obsessive. This is related to the first one, pero this attitude of his ay hindi lang para sa tao. Kapag may nagugustuhan siyang isang bagay, wala siyang ibang iisipin at ipe-pursue kung hindi ito lamang. This could be a double-edged sword, sa totoo lang. Like the time na na-obsessed siyang mag-aral ng Nihongo because of my Japanese cousins. Honestly, learning a new language could be useful din naman. For months wala na siyang ibang inatupag aside from studying it. Bumili pa siya ng books para makatulong. Kaso ang ending, wala rin masyadong nangyari. Nagsayang lang ako ng time and effort, tapos napagastos pa ko ng medyo malaki.
Pangatlo, may pagka-gullible; madali lang siyang utuin. He rarely analyze any piece of information he receives, and readily accepts them without second thoughts. Delikado ang trait na ito; very prone siyang maging victim ng isang modus operandi eh. Fortunately, that is yet to happen.
Pero kahit ganyan si Third, meron din naman siyang good qualities, lalo na when it comes to handling relationships.
Siya yung may hawak ng weapon na bukod tanging nakakatalo kay Jacob. Kapag sobrang in love si Third, maximized ang faithfulness niya. Maalalahanin siya at maalaga; he's fond of surprising and spoiling his partner with thoughtful gifts. He likes to see a smile across that face as much as possible. Todo-todo kasi siya kung magmahal, halos wala nang itinitira sa sarili. He never fails to allot a huge portion of his time, and he makes sure to give extra effort. Ganoon siya ka-devoted.
Truly, ignorance is bliss.
5) Silver
The weakling.
He is the embodiment of my low emotional quotient. Sa lahat ng personae ko, siya ang pinaka-emo, with bangs, eyeliner and all. Generally, malungkutin 'tong si Silver; madalas aloof, mababa ang self-esteem, at madaling maapektuhan ng criticisms.
His constant pessimism and anxiousness always hinder him to do things properly. He tends to focus on the worst outcome in every dilemma. In relationships, unlike Third's gullibility, sobrang hirap siyang magbigay ng buong tiwala. He has this habit of doubting things, and he rarely accepts something based on face value alone. Hindi ko nga mawari 'til now kung saan niya hinuhugot yung negativity niya. Dahil dito, madalas silang magkasundo ni Jacob.
He also has this weird penchant for misery, so he often ends up overcomplicating minor problems. Yung tipong kahit hindi naman dapat big deal ay masyadong pinoproblema. O di kaya kahit okay na ang lahat, hahanapan pa rin niya ng kung anong mali dito.
He has the tendency to embrace sadness instead of seeking the opposite. Kapag sobrang down, may pagka-suicidal din ng konti 'tong si Silver. Fortunately, he doesn't have the courage to act out his thoughts. *whew*
I consider him a weakness that has the potential to destroy me, so I need to learn soon how to control him.
6) Joan
Ah, here she is. The rose among the thorns. The one with the pechay. A fine example of a 'woman trapped in a man's body.
Joan is the personification of my homosexuality. Kung wala siya, probably hindi ako ngayon nagpapa-slide-slide sa isang shiny rainbow. At malamang mani ang naging paboritong kong pulutan sa kama.
Kinikilabutan talaga ako kapag naiisip ko yun. *brrr*
Kapag hindi active ang katamaran ni AJ (which rarely happens by the way), ang gumagana naman ay ang pagka-OC ni Joan. Hindi siya mapakali if hindi organized ang kanyang mga gamit. She becomes anxious when things don't go according to what was planned. There are instances when she prefers to do a given task alone, instead of asking others for assistance. If ever she is forced to cooperate with someone else, i-expect mo na na naka-antabay siya na parang buwitre for any mistakes her teammate might commit. Hindi siya ideal ilagay sa groupings sa totoo lang. Hindi ko alam kung saan ba nanggagaling ang high standards niya.
Imagine a bitchy girl na pa-sosyal, mahilig mag-complain, at judgmental. Ganyan exactly si Joan. Napunta na kasi yata sa kanya halos lahat ng kaartehan. Madiriin sa putik, takot sa mga insekto (lalo na sa spiders), allergic sa alikabok, mapili sa pagkain, at marami pang iba.
Kung gaano ang thirst for knowledge ni Geosef, ganon rin si Joan. The difference is, the former seeks for valuable information, while the latter is only interested in gossip. Chismosa at pakialamera si Joan; mas juicy ang chismis, mas happy siya. Ka-imbyerna lang.
Buti na lang, sa awa ng Diyos, hindi nahilig sa make-up at mga damit pambabae si Joan. Otherwise, malamang naging cross-dresser na ako. Di niya madaig ang pagiging straight-acting ni AJ, kaya hindi masyadong nagma-manifest ang pagiging maharot niya. Minsan lang, especially kung kasama ko ang aking gay friends, o kapag nakakakita ng cutie and yummy habang nagbo-boy hunting. *hihihi*
There you have it! That was indeed a mouthful.
Ngayon kilala niyo na silang anim, who do you like the most as well as the least?
Ako kasi wala. Wala akong favorite, at wala rin akong hate. I like them all the same. Though at first, I despised some of them, and there are times that I favor one over the other, but I eventually learned to accept and see all of them as equals. Their mistakes are my mistakes too, and their achievements are mine as well. I cannot influence any of them to change as much as they cannot bring forth change from one another. They have been like that since I acknowledged their existence, and will continue to do so until my dying breath.
They are me for I am them.
Tibi ipsi dic vere.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Rome Wasn't Built In A Day
I received the following letters from dear friends (including one from a secret admirer) during my high school and college days. They are copied here chronologically and verbatim to their written counterparts. :)
Dear Geosef, (sorry omit the DEAR!)
- If you think that this letter will be about me asking for an Apology—then—you're wrong. Gusto ko lang malaman, tell me Sepsep, Nakalimutan ko ba talagang mag-thank you sa paggawa mo ng project ko?! Ang alam ko, I thank you for so many times already, I thank you right before we leave your house when you told us that you will just do it for us. I also thank you when we meet again in school and everytime I ask if you already finished it. Kulang pa ba iyon? Tell me, para di mo naman masabi na wala akong utang na loob, kailangan ko bang magpasalamat sayo, every minute of my life? Tell me what I can do to let you know that I'm really thankful of what you had done for me and Jade. But, 'wag ka lang magpaparinig 'coz that make me feel so bad. Ok na sana tayo pero nang magparinig ka sa amin kahapon, nagbago ang tingin ko sayo. Parang hindi na ikaw ang nakilala kong SEPSEP.
Naisip ko na pag nakaaway mo ang isang tao parang bigla mong ipinapaalala ang mga nagawa mo for them, kasi, nagparinig ka sa amin ng "Thank you hah! Thank you kasi ginawa ko project niyo!" day after we had an argument in the library. Dahil ba do'n Geoseffe? Kailangan mo bang ipamukha sa Amin ang bagay na iyon?
Anyway, wala na tayong magagawa do'n kasi nagawa mo na iyon, eh!! Alam kong di naman mababago ng sulat na'to ang sama ng loob na binigay mo sa amin. Ito lang ang sasabihin ko sayo Geosef, "Nagawa mo na naman, you do the same thng again and again. Nagkamali ka nanaman sa sinabi mo kasi may nasaktan ka. Tandaan mo iyan!! Sana lang magbago ka na. Malaman mo na kung ano ang nakakasakit sa iba at ikagagalit nila. Grow-up Sepsep, Grow-up! Nasayang mo lang yung magandang impression namin sayo.
Don't Blame me if I hurt you! Truth hurts. Gusto ko lang ilabas ang sama ng loob ko para kahit papaano ay mabawasan ang galit ko sayo. Don't worry after this letter, parang wala nang nangyaribut don't expect that we'll still be as close friends as what we are before. Nasayang mo talaga ang friendship natin (kung mahalaga iyon para sa iyo?!). What you did really hurt me, alam ko I'm being so sensitive but I almot cry when you uttered those words, Di lang kasi talaga ako makapaniwala na sa iyo pa manggagaling iton.
Don't be Angry w/ me! Wala naman siguro akong nabago sa pagkakakilala sa AKin.
"THANK YOU! (If you still wanna hear it)"
Dear; Geosef
You know I'm very happy because, even I have crush to you, your not angry. Kaya I'm nagkacrush to you because your cute, look like harry potter. and your good and sweet. but I Know you have crush to ate Maryjane. Kaya I Know because your always magkasama and Holding Hands. and...
Happy Valentine's Day!
Sepsep,
Thank you dun sa letter.
Sorry sa mga pangaazar ko. Sa mga masasama kong ginawa.
Thank you sa lahat! Sa libre, basta sa lahat kung may lahat man. <pero sa tingin ko wala>
baguhin moh na yang ugali moh!
Kala mo cute?! Hindi noh!
Silver ka pa naman ngayong school year! Ang bobitz moh!
Manhid!
Alam moh bah?! Wawentz ka!
Kasi minsan makikinig ka naman sa iba, kasi hindi palagi ay tama ka! At purke machagzlinoh ka eh lagi kang tama!
Makikinig ka sa bestfriend moh kasi hindi lahat ng sinasabi ko kalokohan!
Listen to the people! Kahit konti sensitive din sila!
Kung alam mong mali ka wag moh ng ituloy ung mali na un and try to think and alisin yung maling gawain na yon!
Alam moh hindi ka tanga! Be observant at be sensitive sa mga reaction ng mga tao.
Ilang beses ko ba yang sasabihin sau! Pakinggan moh naman ako!
Baka basa ka lang ng basa eh hindi naman pumapasok sa stupido mong utak!
Kung ganon... ... .... Sayang lang koryente, ink, pawis at pagpapagod ko itype to! Hay!!!
Gusto moh irecite ko sayo mga negative attitudes moh?! Alam moh ang dami!
Cguro alam moh yun at kung hindi found out kung ano yun, pag hindi maganda yung reaction ng mga tao sayo, ibig sabihin may mali sau, alamin moh kasi makakainis yun!
Wag mong pinapaiyak si Mary Jane dahil hindi ko guston iniiyakan ka niya. Sa ibang bagay nalang siya umiyak at wag sau kasi panget tignan.
Best is not that good than most, but for friends, most is not that good than best.
Ang panget naman pakinggan diba kung ang tawagan ng magkaibigan eh, mostfriend! Cyempre! Bestfriend! Diba!? Tama naman ako diba?
Grabe isang pad na to! Hindi na kasya.
Marami pa kong gustong sabihin. Sa ibang araw nalang un!
Alway remember na bestfriend mo ko at lahat nang un ay hindi makakasama sau dahil gusto ko ang mabuti sayo!
Sana were always together. Habangbuhay!
Take care! God Bless!
Ah... nagulat ka ba? Siguro hindi, siguro oo? Oo man o hindi be thankful at sinulatan kita hehe... Uy, nagiging halimaw na naman sya! Hehe... Pasensya sa sulat ko, hindi kasi ako marunong mag-lettering na gaya moh... Alam mo kasi "matagal na kaming hindi nagsusuot ng pang-IFUGAO. kahit mga bata sa eskwelahan, kailangan may uniporme. Sa kaso ko, kapag mamamalimos ako sa Viewpoint, doon lang ako kailangang magsuot ng damit pang-katutubo," a 62-yr. old Lola Myani affirmed. Nawala ba sa topic? Wag ka ng magtaka, kinopya ko lang yan sa magazine! Hehe... Beh! Pero seriously, I thank you... bow... Tnx, at nakakapag-timpi ka pa sa kakulitan moh... ay! koh pala! nga pala di mo napansin GIRL NA GIRL yung stationary na ginamit ko? hehe... WALA LANG! Thank'z for being part of my crazy life! dahil sa'yo gumulo mundo ko... Alam mo, ang laki na ng pinagbago mo ng makilala mo si MJ. dahil nga ba kay MJ? O dahil ngayong 3rd-year ka lang nagpa-tuli? hehe... joke! Pero totoo, laki ng pinagbago mo... GANAP KA NA ngayon! BINATA ka na rin! Wow, Samantalang dati parang monay na yung pisnge mo! Para ka pa non BONCHING eh ngayon... BATCHIE kana lang... From BONCHING -> naging -> BATCHIE! Wahaha... pero lam mo, alam ko namang mabait ka eh... And such a gentle dog... Kelan pa? hehe... tiyaga-tiyaga na lang mapapasayo rin yan si MJ, YOU CAN DO IT! Ika nga "Kung walang nilaga este tiyaga, walang sinigang" (Uy, favorite ko yun) nga pala Sorry kung sumosobra na minsan pang-aasar ko sayo. Actually, kulang pa nga yun eh! Way ko lang yun para makaganti sayo noh! JOKE 3X. hehe =P
hey! it's nice yo see you again! :) i missed you! sna wg kng atat! tska pde ba, learn to express your feelings! tomorrow is never guaranteed. :) always remember, nobody is good at everything and nobody is called to be everything! :) there are 2 reasons why you shouldn't or should never compare yourself with anyone else. first, you will always be able to find somebody who seems to be doing better than you and you'll become discouraged. or, you will always be able to find somebody who doesn't seem to be as effective as you and you'll get full of pride. either attitude will rob you off you joy! ok? don't forget to pray. smile and have a good laugh! i love you forever! :) God bless you.
alam mo ba, naiinis aq xau... un ugali mo kc e... magaling ka lang pag may kailangan ka. basta nakkainis... tpos pg wala, baliwala lng... like ng kanina sa Reader's Digest.. ang demanding mo sobra.. e pare-pareho lng nmn taung wla! edi bumili ka nln kn gus2 mo! sobrang nkkairita ka rin pg groupings! tpos triads.. as in 3 per group! ndi ka nkkgroup smn ni aileen! anu kya un? duh, tpos gnun dn un sa psych.. un binder! bat ayw mo kming kgrp? wla kn twala smn gnun?! nobody has the right to make me feel inferior without my consent! excuse me.. kc gnun un feeling nmn ni aileen e.. ayw mo kmi kgroup kc bka umasa lng kmi xau or kc bka mbaba un grade! haha! really? user mo.. sumasama ka sa group ni ate sandra kc masipag gmwa lalo na pg research.. tas xmpre ikw wla ka ng ggwin! sa bgay ok lng! AYAW KA RIN namin kgroup! anu nmn!!! gnian ka nmn dba! sus.. snay na kmi xau! good luck sa chem!!! SAMA MO!!! bhla ka sa buhay mo! screw you!
thanks knina. you don't get tired of listening even when I get tired of hearing myself talk. dito sa room, ikaw ang pinakamahal q.. haha.. pero ndi aq in-love xau ah! feel mo nmn! thanks ah. actually, prng ikaw nlng ung sobrang pinagkakatiwalaan q dito.. you know. sna ndi aq ngkmli. ilang weeks nlng mghhwlay na tyo. and alam q na ndi na tyo mggng classmates! db section 1! ahahaha! sna kht ndi na tyo tight nxt school year, wg ka mgbbgo - unless for the better! :) be punctual! wg tatamarin gumawa ng schoolwork! kht na dti we somehow treated each other as rivals, happy aq na ok pdn tyo.. bsta andito lng aq.. at ur service anytime you need! always remember, failing is a good starting point.. :) thanks for sharing your 1st yr college with me.. i'm so proud of you! tndaan mo yn! atska maganda q! ahaha! iniimpose un! love you sep! pursue your dreams! stay in touch ah. God bless and I do hope na matututo ka ng mgpray and magcmba! i will surely pray for you! mjo nkktmad na ngyn.. gus2 q na mgstart ult. hmm goodluck with everything!
hi best friend! haha soulmate! im glad na nkpgenroll ka na. and xempre, nttuwa dn aw kc nka-tulong aw xau. oh well, what bff's are for. bsta im telling u, friend mo q forever. you've been so nice to me. tgl ndn ntng tight! thx ult sa lht ng mga tinulong mo skn in the past. ikw isa sa mga reasons kng bkt nkasurvive aw ng 1st yr college. sna u won't get tired of studying. sep, matalino kw. aral mabuti ha. don't let financial problems pull you down. bsta im hre lng! haha! stay in touch ah. blitaan mo q sa acads mo. keri mo yn! i know kyang kya mo mgstand out! tska pde ba, wg ka na mgpakopya ng sobra! wla nmn clang ginawa xau in return db? i mean, anong kpalit nun? kalimutan na. atleast lesson learned yet ryt? knw ur limits. alam mo ba kng anong cnb ni franz ng 1st day? "ay, wla na c geosef, wla na tyong kkopyahan!" grb db! hay nku, bsta ung people na "no-good" xau, get them out of ur life! hahaha! i know mamimis mo ung napakaganda mng best friend! haha supreme being! bsta stay the same! be fierce! pg my bobong umway xau, let me know! tuturuan q ng leksyon un! hahaha! keep me posted! God bless! hope to see you around! ingat ingat. txt me lng if u need help! i'd attend to it ryt away, gnun tlg q since then! xoxo! kw pa! ndi kta mtiis! Ü
Hoy! Wala lang! tama na ang pagpapacute mu sa gurl dun sa BONA! may asawa na daw yun.... kay MJ ka na lang.... akala nia nagaaral ka dun, un pala natambay ka lang! at pumasok ka wag kang absent ng absent
***
Dear Geosef, (sorry omit the DEAR!)
- If you think that this letter will be about me asking for an Apology—then—you're wrong. Gusto ko lang malaman, tell me Sepsep, Nakalimutan ko ba talagang mag-thank you sa paggawa mo ng project ko?! Ang alam ko, I thank you for so many times already, I thank you right before we leave your house when you told us that you will just do it for us. I also thank you when we meet again in school and everytime I ask if you already finished it. Kulang pa ba iyon? Tell me, para di mo naman masabi na wala akong utang na loob, kailangan ko bang magpasalamat sayo, every minute of my life? Tell me what I can do to let you know that I'm really thankful of what you had done for me and Jade. But, 'wag ka lang magpaparinig 'coz that make me feel so bad. Ok na sana tayo pero nang magparinig ka sa amin kahapon, nagbago ang tingin ko sayo. Parang hindi na ikaw ang nakilala kong SEPSEP.
Naisip ko na pag nakaaway mo ang isang tao parang bigla mong ipinapaalala ang mga nagawa mo for them, kasi, nagparinig ka sa amin ng "Thank you hah! Thank you kasi ginawa ko project niyo!" day after we had an argument in the library. Dahil ba do'n Geoseffe? Kailangan mo bang ipamukha sa Amin ang bagay na iyon?
Anyway, wala na tayong magagawa do'n kasi nagawa mo na iyon, eh!! Alam kong di naman mababago ng sulat na'to ang sama ng loob na binigay mo sa amin. Ito lang ang sasabihin ko sayo Geosef, "Nagawa mo na naman, you do the same thng again and again. Nagkamali ka nanaman sa sinabi mo kasi may nasaktan ka. Tandaan mo iyan!! Sana lang magbago ka na. Malaman mo na kung ano ang nakakasakit sa iba at ikagagalit nila. Grow-up Sepsep, Grow-up! Nasayang mo lang yung magandang impression namin sayo.
Don't Blame me if I hurt you! Truth hurts. Gusto ko lang ilabas ang sama ng loob ko para kahit papaano ay mabawasan ang galit ko sayo. Don't worry after this letter, parang wala nang nangyari
Don't be Angry w/ me! Wala naman siguro akong nabago sa pagkakakilala sa AKin.
"THANK YOU! (If you still wanna hear it)"
From,
Lanie
***
Dear; Geosef
You know I'm very happy because, even I have crush to you, your not angry. Kaya I'm nagkacrush to you because your cute, look like harry potter. and your good and sweet. but I Know you have crush to ate Maryjane. Kaya I Know because your always magkasama and Holding Hands. and...
Happy Valentine's Day!
From:
Flora, Grade 4 (This my Code name)
***
Sepsep,
Thank you dun sa letter.
Sorry sa mga pangaazar ko. Sa mga masasama kong ginawa.
Thank you sa lahat! Sa libre, basta sa lahat kung may lahat man. <pero sa tingin ko wala>
baguhin moh na yang ugali moh!
Kala mo cute?! Hindi noh!
Silver ka pa naman ngayong school year! Ang bobitz moh!
Manhid!
Alam moh bah?! Wawentz ka!
Kasi minsan makikinig ka naman sa iba, kasi hindi palagi ay tama ka! At purke machagzlinoh ka eh lagi kang tama!
Makikinig ka sa bestfriend moh kasi hindi lahat ng sinasabi ko kalokohan!
Listen to the people! Kahit konti sensitive din sila!
Kung alam mong mali ka wag moh ng ituloy ung mali na un and try to think and alisin yung maling gawain na yon!
Alam moh hindi ka tanga! Be observant at be sensitive sa mga reaction ng mga tao.
Ilang beses ko ba yang sasabihin sau! Pakinggan moh naman ako!
Baka basa ka lang ng basa eh hindi naman pumapasok sa stupido mong utak!
Kung ganon... ... .... Sayang lang koryente, ink, pawis at pagpapagod ko itype to! Hay!!!
Gusto moh irecite ko sayo mga negative attitudes moh?! Alam moh ang dami!
Cguro alam moh yun at kung hindi found out kung ano yun, pag hindi maganda yung reaction ng mga tao sayo, ibig sabihin may mali sau, alamin moh kasi makakainis yun!
Wag mong pinapaiyak si Mary Jane dahil hindi ko guston iniiyakan ka niya. Sa ibang bagay nalang siya umiyak at wag sau kasi panget tignan.
Best is not that good than most, but for friends, most is not that good than best.
Ang panget naman pakinggan diba kung ang tawagan ng magkaibigan eh, mostfriend! Cyempre! Bestfriend! Diba!? Tama naman ako diba?
Grabe isang pad na to! Hindi na kasya.
Marami pa kong gustong sabihin. Sa ibang araw nalang un!
Alway remember na bestfriend mo ko at lahat nang un ay hindi makakasama sau dahil gusto ko ang mabuti sayo!
Sana were always together. Habangbuhay!
Take care! God Bless!
Bestfriend mo na mas cute sau at hindi mo mapapantayan ang cuteness,
Rey
***
03-27-05
Hi!Ah... nagulat ka ba? Siguro hindi, siguro oo? Oo man o hindi be thankful at sinulatan kita hehe... Uy, nagiging halimaw na naman sya! Hehe... Pasensya sa sulat ko, hindi kasi ako marunong mag-lettering na gaya moh... Alam mo kasi "matagal na kaming hindi nagsusuot ng pang-IFUGAO. kahit mga bata sa eskwelahan, kailangan may uniporme. Sa kaso ko, kapag mamamalimos ako sa Viewpoint, doon lang ako kailangang magsuot ng damit pang-katutubo," a 62-yr. old Lola Myani affirmed. Nawala ba sa topic? Wag ka ng magtaka, kinopya ko lang yan sa magazine! Hehe... Beh! Pero seriously, I thank you... bow... Tnx, at nakakapag-timpi ka pa sa kakulitan moh... ay! koh pala! nga pala di mo napansin GIRL NA GIRL yung stationary na ginamit ko? hehe... WALA LANG! Thank'z for being part of my crazy life! dahil sa'yo gumulo mundo ko... Alam mo, ang laki na ng pinagbago mo ng makilala mo si MJ. dahil nga ba kay MJ? O dahil ngayong 3rd-year ka lang nagpa-tuli? hehe... joke! Pero totoo, laki ng pinagbago mo... GANAP KA NA ngayon! BINATA ka na rin! Wow, Samantalang dati parang monay na yung pisnge mo! Para ka pa non BONCHING eh ngayon... BATCHIE kana lang... From BONCHING -> naging -> BATCHIE! Wahaha... pero lam mo, alam ko namang mabait ka eh... And such a gentle dog... Kelan pa? hehe... tiyaga-tiyaga na lang mapapasayo rin yan si MJ, YOU CAN DO IT! Ika nga "Kung walang nilaga este tiyaga, walang sinigang" (Uy, favorite ko yun) nga pala Sorry kung sumosobra na minsan pang-aasar ko sayo. Actually, kulang pa nga yun eh! Way ko lang yun para makaganti sayo noh! JOKE 3X. hehe =P
Madel
***
November 13, 2006
First Day
Dear Best Friend Nooky!hey! it's nice yo see you again! :) i missed you! sna wg kng atat! tska pde ba, learn to express your feelings! tomorrow is never guaranteed. :) always remember, nobody is good at everything and nobody is called to be everything! :) there are 2 reasons why you shouldn't or should never compare yourself with anyone else. first, you will always be able to find somebody who seems to be doing better than you and you'll become discouraged. or, you will always be able to find somebody who doesn't seem to be as effective as you and you'll get full of pride. either attitude will rob you off you joy! ok? don't forget to pray. smile and have a good laugh! i love you forever! :) God bless you.
Love lots,
Kaycee :)
***
November 21 '06
Geoseffe,alam mo ba, naiinis aq xau... un ugali mo kc e... magaling ka lang pag may kailangan ka. basta nakkainis... tpos pg wala, baliwala lng... like ng kanina sa Reader's Digest.. ang demanding mo sobra.. e pare-pareho lng nmn taung wla! edi bumili ka nln kn gus2 mo! sobrang nkkairita ka rin pg groupings! tpos triads.. as in 3 per group! ndi ka nkkgroup smn ni aileen! anu kya un? duh, tpos gnun dn un sa psych.. un binder! bat ayw mo kming kgrp? wla kn twala smn gnun?! nobody has the right to make me feel inferior without my consent! excuse me.. kc gnun un feeling nmn ni aileen e.. ayw mo kmi kgroup kc bka umasa lng kmi xau or kc bka mbaba un grade! haha! really? user mo.. sumasama ka sa group ni ate sandra kc masipag gmwa lalo na pg research.. tas xmpre ikw wla ka ng ggwin! sa bgay ok lng! AYAW KA RIN namin kgroup! anu nmn!!! gnian ka nmn dba! sus.. snay na kmi xau! good luck sa chem!!! SAMA MO!!! bhla ka sa buhay mo! screw you!
Kaycee
***
May 07, 2007
Monday
Soulmate / BFF,thanks knina. you don't get tired of listening even when I get tired of hearing myself talk. dito sa room, ikaw ang pinakamahal q.. haha.. pero ndi aq in-love xau ah! feel mo nmn! thanks ah. actually, prng ikaw nlng ung sobrang pinagkakatiwalaan q dito.. you know. sna ndi aq ngkmli. ilang weeks nlng mghhwlay na tyo. and alam q na ndi na tyo mggng classmates! db section 1! ahahaha! sna kht ndi na tyo tight nxt school year, wg ka mgbbgo - unless for the better! :) be punctual! wg tatamarin gumawa ng schoolwork! kht na dti we somehow treated each other as rivals, happy aq na ok pdn tyo.. bsta andito lng aq.. at ur service anytime you need! always remember, failing is a good starting point.. :) thanks for sharing your 1st yr college with me.. i'm so proud of you! tndaan mo yn! atska maganda q! ahaha! iniimpose un! love you sep! pursue your dreams! stay in touch ah. God bless and I do hope na matututo ka ng mgpray and magcmba! i will surely pray for you! mjo nkktmad na ngyn.. gus2 q na mgstart ult. hmm goodluck with everything!
love lots,
Kaycee :)
***
June 16, 07
Saturday
Garcia dear, Ühi best friend! haha soulmate! im glad na nkpgenroll ka na. and xempre, nttuwa dn aw kc nka-tulong aw xau. oh well, what bff's are for. bsta im telling u, friend mo q forever. you've been so nice to me. tgl ndn ntng tight! thx ult sa lht ng mga tinulong mo skn in the past. ikw isa sa mga reasons kng bkt nkasurvive aw ng 1st yr college. sna u won't get tired of studying. sep, matalino kw. aral mabuti ha. don't let financial problems pull you down. bsta im hre lng! haha! stay in touch ah. blitaan mo q sa acads mo. keri mo yn! i know kyang kya mo mgstand out! tska pde ba, wg ka na mgpakopya ng sobra! wla nmn clang ginawa xau in return db? i mean, anong kpalit nun? kalimutan na. atleast lesson learned yet ryt? knw ur limits. alam mo ba kng anong cnb ni franz ng 1st day? "ay, wla na c geosef, wla na tyong kkopyahan!" grb db! hay nku, bsta ung people na "no-good" xau, get them out of ur life! hahaha! i know mamimis mo ung napakaganda mng best friend! haha supreme being! bsta stay the same! be fierce! pg my bobong umway xau, let me know! tuturuan q ng leksyon un! hahaha! keep me posted! God bless! hope to see you around! ingat ingat. txt me lng if u need help! i'd attend to it ryt away, gnun tlg q since then! xoxo! kw pa! ndi kta mtiis! Ü
love lots,
Kaycee :)
Kaycee :)
***
02/25/09
EVER DEAREST SEP,Hoy! Wala lang! tama na ang pagpapacute mu sa gurl dun sa BONA! may asawa na daw yun.... kay MJ ka na lang.... akala nia nagaaral ka dun, un pala natambay ka lang! at pumasok ka wag kang absent ng absent
your cutest sis,
-jolens-
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Quintessential Hypocrite
Hypocrisy seems to be much more common than common sense nowadays. You can see hypocrites almost anywhere; on TV, at school or at work, on your neighborhood, or in the government. The blogosphere is teeming with them as well, but let's not dwell on that. Most are subtle, while some are just unbelievably blatant. Heck, even I am guilty of being one every now and then. I'm sure you are too, don't deny it.
However, there is one person I know whose hypocrisy is one of the worst I've seen. He's so bad, that if ever there would be an international contest for hypocrites, he would surely bag the first prize. This person is my current boss, Sir JR. And believe me, you wouldn't want to personally know how awful he is.
It is common knowledge in our company that no one likes Sir JR. He is very condescending and a know-it-all. Everyone's mood becomes sour whenever he opens his overbearing mouth. I think he's even lucky that he's yet to receive an anonymous death threat from a fed up coworker. I would give him one if I could, just for fun.
His managerial skills are extremely disappointing, if not laughable. He often gives us a ton of work, including his own responsibilities. Whenever he fucks up, he always put the blame on us, his subordinates. On the other hand, if it's a job well done, he's quicker than Usain Bolt in taking all the credit for himself, even though he gave little to no effort. Sir JR is the office's biggest jerk, with zero sense of accountability.
There was this one time when he told us that he must attend a very important meeting in another building. Then something urgent came up, so we tried to look for him where he said he would be, but he was nowhere to be found. And when we asked him the next day where he'd been, he just ignored us, saying that it's none of our business. That how terrible he is. And that's just one example among so many more.
A lot of us are wondering why no one in the higher management still hasn't fire him. They clearly dislike him too, so why do they continue to put up with his detestable attitude?
One of us concluded that he must be skilled in worming his way out of trouble. He's an expert in finger-pointing, and he could be quite a smooth talker. He has this certain charm that he utilizes whenever he wants something from someone. Maybe that's why he's always successful in avoiding sanctions. He's a rat. A dirty fucking rat.
In spite of the negative things I've said about him, these are not the reason behind my overwhelming hate towards him. There is another one, the reason why I dubbed him as the quintessential hypocrite.
When Sir JR interviewed me when I was still an applicant, the first thing I noticed was that he is gay. The way he moves and talks, the tone of his voice, and his overall appearance. I was pretty confident with my gaydar's observations. When I started working for him, imagine my surprise when I learned that he classifies himself as a heterosexual.
I overheard him once when he was talking with his co-manager, and it sent a terrifying chill down my spine.
"Alam mo, nakakapagod na nga lately eh. Andami nang chicks ang nagpapakita sa akin ng motibo. Mukhang effective ang gym membership ko," he said, chuckling, "Ang fluffy ko na, di ba?"
"Putangina, puke mo fluffy! Gripuhan kita sa tagiliran diyan eh, makita mo..." I whispered to myself.
I actually pitied whoever he was talking to. Hearing those words could probably cause someone into having thoughts of suicide. Well, I did, actually.
That truth is, Sir JR is neither handsome nor muscled. He looks exactly like a gremlin, with a protruding large tummy. The only positive things about his appearance are his light skin and smooth complexion. Other than that, he is one unsightly creature.
Fortunately, no one buys his 'I am straight' bullshit. For them, he is obviously an in denial homosexual. But for me, he is a frustrated piece of shit with very poor straight-acting skills.
Now, don't get me wrong here, I have nothing against straight-acting PLUs; I am one myself. What really ignited my hatred is this one instance that happened at work months ago. Remembering it never fails to grind my gears.
Here in our company, homosexuals are an abundance. One could say that we are the majority, from subtle pamintas to flamboyant effeminates. One afternoon, I was discussing a task with Sir JR when a flaming effem, named Sasha if I'm not mistaken, walked by.
Whenever I come across Sasha, I'm always at awe. He has long, silky hair and a skinny body frame. His dark complexion accentuates his height. He's tall, dark, and beautiful; someone who has a chance in winning a beaucon. He often wears sexy branded outfits, and he's fond of showcasing his collection of high-heeled shoes. He is well-liked by many because of his unique humor and his darling attitude.
As he walked gracefully past us, I saw Sir JR threw him a disgusted look.
However, there is one person I know whose hypocrisy is one of the worst I've seen. He's so bad, that if ever there would be an international contest for hypocrites, he would surely bag the first prize. This person is my current boss, Sir JR. And believe me, you wouldn't want to personally know how awful he is.
It is common knowledge in our company that no one likes Sir JR. He is very condescending and a know-it-all. Everyone's mood becomes sour whenever he opens his overbearing mouth. I think he's even lucky that he's yet to receive an anonymous death threat from a fed up coworker. I would give him one if I could, just for fun.
His managerial skills are extremely disappointing, if not laughable. He often gives us a ton of work, including his own responsibilities. Whenever he fucks up, he always put the blame on us, his subordinates. On the other hand, if it's a job well done, he's quicker than Usain Bolt in taking all the credit for himself, even though he gave little to no effort. Sir JR is the office's biggest jerk, with zero sense of accountability.
There was this one time when he told us that he must attend a very important meeting in another building. Then something urgent came up, so we tried to look for him where he said he would be, but he was nowhere to be found. And when we asked him the next day where he'd been, he just ignored us, saying that it's none of our business. That how terrible he is. And that's just one example among so many more.
A lot of us are wondering why no one in the higher management still hasn't fire him. They clearly dislike him too, so why do they continue to put up with his detestable attitude?
One of us concluded that he must be skilled in worming his way out of trouble. He's an expert in finger-pointing, and he could be quite a smooth talker. He has this certain charm that he utilizes whenever he wants something from someone. Maybe that's why he's always successful in avoiding sanctions. He's a rat. A dirty fucking rat.
In spite of the negative things I've said about him, these are not the reason behind my overwhelming hate towards him. There is another one, the reason why I dubbed him as the quintessential hypocrite.
When Sir JR interviewed me when I was still an applicant, the first thing I noticed was that he is gay. The way he moves and talks, the tone of his voice, and his overall appearance. I was pretty confident with my gaydar's observations. When I started working for him, imagine my surprise when I learned that he classifies himself as a heterosexual.
I overheard him once when he was talking with his co-manager, and it sent a terrifying chill down my spine.
"Alam mo, nakakapagod na nga lately eh. Andami nang chicks ang nagpapakita sa akin ng motibo. Mukhang effective ang gym membership ko," he said, chuckling, "Ang fluffy ko na, di ba?"
"Putangina, puke mo fluffy! Gripuhan kita sa tagiliran diyan eh, makita mo..." I whispered to myself.
I actually pitied whoever he was talking to. Hearing those words could probably cause someone into having thoughts of suicide. Well, I did, actually.
That truth is, Sir JR is neither handsome nor muscled. He looks exactly like a gremlin, with a protruding large tummy. The only positive things about his appearance are his light skin and smooth complexion. Other than that, he is one unsightly creature.
Fortunately, no one buys his 'I am straight' bullshit. For them, he is obviously an in denial homosexual. But for me, he is a frustrated piece of shit with very poor straight-acting skills.
Now, don't get me wrong here, I have nothing against straight-acting PLUs; I am one myself. What really ignited my hatred is this one instance that happened at work months ago. Remembering it never fails to grind my gears.
Here in our company, homosexuals are an abundance. One could say that we are the majority, from subtle pamintas to flamboyant effeminates. One afternoon, I was discussing a task with Sir JR when a flaming effem, named Sasha if I'm not mistaken, walked by.
Whenever I come across Sasha, I'm always at awe. He has long, silky hair and a skinny body frame. His dark complexion accentuates his height. He's tall, dark, and beautiful; someone who has a chance in winning a beaucon. He often wears sexy branded outfits, and he's fond of showcasing his collection of high-heeled shoes. He is well-liked by many because of his unique humor and his darling attitude.
As he walked gracefully past us, I saw Sir JR threw him a disgusted look.
"Kadiri namang bakla to. Nakakasuka na ang pinaggagagawa. Gandang-ganda lang sa sarili," he said, shaking his head before smirking.
I was flustered with what I heard so I wasn't able to immediately react to his nasty remark.
"Yung mga ganyang bakla dapat sa parlor lang. Dapat tanggalin na yung mga ganyan dito para umaliwalas ang paligid. Ang sakit sa mata eh," he continued insensitively.
I stopped myself from answering back, "Insecure ka lang, inggiterang froglet!" All I wanted that moment was to drive the pen I'm holding in one of his eye sockets, but I resisted the urge. That's how Sir JR affects me every time he speaks; he drives me to become a violent psychopath.
He continued to mumble obscenities about Sasha. My patience was wearing thin little by little, and I don't want to commit murder right then and there, so I decided to block his words out of my mind.
As a member of the LGBT community, I have learned to respect others' choice of how they'll live their life as a homosexual. Respect begets respect, and with that, Sir JR clearly deserves none. He is hypocrisy personified. Having absolutely no right to insult Sasha when he is a trying-hard straight-acting effem himself, sans the hair and outfits, he had completely crossed the line. Don't you hate it when someone who's obviously gay berates or demeans another PLU? It makes my blood boil every time. We long for equality from the eyes of heterosexuals, and yet we continue to discriminate our own. A very sad truth.
As long as there are people like Sir JR who roam the Earth, the future is bleak.
He continued to mumble obscenities about Sasha. My patience was wearing thin little by little, and I don't want to commit murder right then and there, so I decided to block his words out of my mind.
As a member of the LGBT community, I have learned to respect others' choice of how they'll live their life as a homosexual. Respect begets respect, and with that, Sir JR clearly deserves none. He is hypocrisy personified. Having absolutely no right to insult Sasha when he is a trying-hard straight-acting effem himself, sans the hair and outfits, he had completely crossed the line. Don't you hate it when someone who's obviously gay berates or demeans another PLU? It makes my blood boil every time. We long for equality from the eyes of heterosexuals, and yet we continue to discriminate our own. A very sad truth.
As long as there are people like Sir JR who roam the Earth, the future is bleak.
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