The Writing On The Wall

Nate is one of the strongest people I know.

I met him when I was still an awkward teenager. We were clan mates back then. Even though he's 10 years my senior, we hit it off because we had a lot in common, especially when it comes to humor. Every time we hang out, we often had debates regarding controversial stuff and we would talk for hours about anything under the sun; we laughed at the most nonsensical things and we tend to joke about something over and over until we ran out of breath.

We were having so much fun, I realized one day that I'm already falling for him. By my standards, he's the perfect one: good-looking, chinito, tall, slightly chubby, decent, and smart. So I decided to confess, hoping that the feeling is mutual, only to have my heart broken into two.

"I know this might happen... I'm sorry, Geosef, but I can't reciprocate your feelings. Aside from the fact that you're too young, it's also impossible for me to be in a relationship," he said.

"Why is that?" I asked in confusion.

And that was when he opened to me his tragic past, which broke my heart further into little pieces.

Several years before I met Nate, he had a partner named Brix. They met through G4M and, like us, they were a perfect match. Having strong Spanish traits, Brix is handsome and has a well-developed body. Nate believed that he finally found his Mr. Right, so he made it official after just a couple of dates.

"I fell for him quick and hard," Nate told me, "And you really can't blame me. Brix is quite a catch. He's sweet, intelligent, and so mouthwatering to look at. Someone like him is pretty rare."

"Well, I'm not blaming you. You're the same as him," I insinuated.

He smiled at me and said, "We had an incredible relationship though. It was the best I ever had. After our first year, our relationship was already out. His family and friends loved me as much as mine loved him. On our second, we agreed to finally live together, so we rented this lovely apartment near his workplace. I'd never felt so happy in my life. We fought a lot, yes, but each argument and misunderstanding we had only made us stronger. We could rely on one another without fail for our bond was steadfast. And the sex... Oh God, the sex."

"What about it?" I asked, grinning.

"Brix may have this angelic demeanor, but he is actually an extremely horny guy. We were doing it like rabbits on drugs. He's the wildest I had, Sep. We liked to experiment a lot, so sex never got old for us," he answered.

I laughed, which surprised me a bit considering I was just rejected. I guess my feelings for Nate weren't that deep anyway.

"So... What went wrong?" I probed.

"Well, apparently, good things really do come to an end, Sep," he said.

Nate's expression suddenly became serious. It was unsettling, seeing him like that.

"5 months prior to our 4th anniversary, Brix became sickly all of a sudden. He had this fever and cough that won't go away. He often complained of tiredness even without doing anything. In a span of one month, he lost a lot of weight. He stopped going to the gym and he mostly stayed at home. He became irritable and aloof. There were nights when he sleeps on our couch, leaving me alone in the bed. I had no idea what the hell's happening with him, that's why I began asking questions. And d'you know what he told me?" he said.

I had an inkling of how the story will go, so I kept mum.

"Brix said, 'Don't worry, Ney. This is just a bad case of flu. This'll go away soon, I'm sure,' and I believed him," he continued, "However, I was still worried so I told him to go and see a doctor just to be sure. He said he will, so I pushed the matter no further. After gaining back some strength, he finally sought consultation. He told me that he underwent some tests and that he's currently waiting for the results. Days later, Brix came home from the hospital after getting his test findings checked, and he told me, 'See? I told you that was nothing serious, Ney. Stop worrying now, okay?' I wish what he said was actually true..."

I nodded in response.

Nate went on, "But then, there were no improvements in his condition; he's still weak. He no longer gets cranky, but he grew more distant. I became extremely anxious. I knew he's suffering, but I had no idea how to help him. I felt worthless. He got fired because of being AWOL for too long. He stopped going out with his friends, and even with me. He preferred the seclusion of our bedroom, where he's usually alone and quiet."

He looked down and shook his head slowly.

"And then what happened?" I pressed on.

He sighed deeply, and said, "One day, my Mom asked me to accompany her in visiting our relatives in Cebu. I was hesitant at first because I didn't want to leave Brix on his own, but he's the one who insisted. He told me, 'Ney, I'll be alright. I promise,' and then kissed me with much passion. He was warm and reassuring, so I was convinced to go. We made love that night like it is our first. The next morning, he even brought us to the airport using his car. He was smiling as I walked towards the departure gate. For a moment there, I was happy again. Everything made me feel that the Brix I know and love have returned at last."

I remained quiet, waiting for Nate to continue.

"But I was wrong. I was so stupid not to see. My happiness clouded my instinct to get suspicious. If only I have known beforehand that what was happening is already the calm before the storm—a storm that would destroy everything in its path—then I would have stayed with him, no second thoughts..." he said.

To be continued...