FOREWORD ~ THIS BLOG CONTAINS HOMOSEXUAL STORIES WITH EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Overcoming The Underestimated

3 weeks ago.

My phone rang, breaking the silence of my room. Its screen showed Ace's name. I hesitated before picking it up.

"Yep Ace?"

"Hi Sep, it's been a while. Naistorbo ba kita?"

"Hindi naman. Anong meron?"

"Si Will kasi, aalis na bukas pa-Dubai."

"Oo nga pala. Napag-usapan na namin yan sa Facebook. Di ko namalayan, bukas na pala flight niya."

"Lalabas kami tonight, padespedida sa kanya. Pwede ka ba? Sabi ni Will pilitin daw kita."

"Uhm... What do you think Ace?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, is it too soon? Good idea ba na magkita tayo considering what happened the last time?"

"Well... That was last month, and wala na tayong communication since then. Don't worry Sep, I'm loads better now. Do this for Will, not me. He'll be gone a long time, gusto niya nandun ka."

"Hmmm... Linggo ngayon no? Wala naman akong plans today, so okay sige."

"That's good. Sabihan ko sila."

"See you later Ace."

"Wait lang Sep..."

"Yep, meron pa?"

"How are you? Masaya ka naman ba?"

***

I met with Ace, Will, and Adam as agreed.


It was a lovely evening, unlike what took place at Lanie's. We joked around, laughed our hearts out, caught up with each other's lives, shared boy stories, and dined sumptuously in an authentic Korean restaurant somewhere near Tagaytay. I know they are well aware of what occurred recently between Ace and I. We talked about it more than once. They had a few questions; some were difficult to answer, but they didn't force us if we don't want to. They still kept the mood light and gay (pun intended).

This time, Ace was warm and friendly towards me. He constantly asked if I'm having a good time, he kept on glancing with a smile across his face, and he made sure that my plate is never empty. No returning of things happened and no tears were shed. It was only a night of boisterous laughter and good food.

On our way home, Ace and I had another conversation.

"Sep, thanks sa pagpunta ha. I missed this, alam mo yun, us just having fun."

"Wala yun. Nag-enjoy ako tonight."

"Kaya naman pala natin maging civil sa isa't-isa. This shows na we can still be friends."

"I guess so..."

"Nga pala, bibisitahin ulit ako nila Lanie, Rey, at Theo sa Tuesday. Pwede ka ba nun?"

"May pasok ako nun, nasa Manila ako. Anung meron?"

"Uhm, wala naman. Dinner lang sana. Then naisip namin na i-celebrate ang birthday mo. Baka pumunta rin pala si Mary Jane."

"Mary Jane? As in yung ex ko?"

"Yep. Kasama rin siya last time eh."

"Hmmm... Bakit hindi na lang sa susunod na Linggo? Available ako nun kasi day-off ko na and uuwi ulit ako dito sa Cavite. Para makasama ako."

"Hindi raw kasi pwede si Lanie at Mary Jane next weekend eh. Sa Tuesday lang kami pwede makumpleto."

"So you are telling me na ise-celebrate niyo ang birthday ko, with cake and all, and I am the last one to get invited, pero hindi importante na maka-attend ako as long as complete kayong mga guests?"

"Parang ganun na nga."

The idea made me burst out laughing, while Ace was grinning.

"Mga leche kayo. Ang sarap talaga maging best friend nila Lanie at Rey; nakakaisip sila ng unique ways para asarin ako."

"Well, ganun ka nila ka-love eh. So ano, kaya mo ba?"

"Titignan ko. Pang-umaga naman ang shift ko sa ngayon, so possible. Bahala na."

"It's settled then. Uhm, one more thing Sep. Oks lang ba na papuntahin ko rin si Giro?"

"Sinong Giro?"

"Uhm, new friend ko. Nakilala ko thru WeChat. 21 years old, HRM student, and ka-subdivision ko lang din."

"Lalaki mo? Ang hilig mo talaga sa bata Ace."

I chuckled. I don't know why, but it was an awkward one.

"We dated at first, yes, pero na-realize ko na we're better as friends, na tropa lang. Parang kid bro ko na siya. Halos araw-araw siya tumatambay sa bahay. Pinagseselosan na nga ako ng gf niya eh."

"Ah... Pamintang durog na binudbod sa tahong."

"Grabe ka naman Sep. Sabi niya bisexual siya."

"Sus, walang ganun. Either bakla ka or straight. Walang gray area when it comes to gender."

"Well, opinyon mo yan."

"Parang si Paul lang pala? Date na naging kaibigan lang."

"Uhm, oo. Oks siya kasama, don't worry. I'm sure matutuwa ka sa kanya. Madalas kitang ikwento dun, kaya naman looking forward siya na makilala ka sa personal."

"Hmmm..."

"If hindi ka komportable, it's alright... You can say no. Kilala kita."

I won't deny that I felt a tinge of jealousy at that moment. But I know better, so I pushed that notion deep down in my brain. I should not feel that way, I don't have the right to anymore. Besides, Giro is just a friend. There's no harm if he would be there right?

"Well, bahay mo naman yun Ace, so you can invite whoever you want to."

"Yes or no Sep?"

"Yes, okay lang."

"Are you sure?"

"Opo."

"Good,  thanks. I'll tell him."

At that point, a confusing thought suddenly struck me. I hesitated first.

"Ace..."

"Yes?"

I held his gaze.

"Why all this? Why bother?"

He smiled.

"Gusto ko masaya ka."

"But why?"

"Kasi kapag alam kong masaya ka, masaya na rin ako... Yun ang goal ko sa ngayon."

I wasn't able to answer. The words were stuck in my throat.

"So Sep, are you happy?"

44 comments:

  1. Gusto ko ng green tea ice cream.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. alam ko kung saan meron meow? gusto mo ba? lolz

      Delete
    2. Saan? Gusto ko matikman yan!!! :)

      Delete
    3. @Sep mahilig ka din ba sa green tea? lolz
      @meow tama, tara! parang every other day na lang ako nakakakain ng green tea ice cream

      Delete
  2. Boom! I hate getting caught up in those kinds of situations. More more more :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mingling with your ex? Well, that could be difficult, depending on how you broke up.

      Delete
  3. Mingled with an ex and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe it's a matter of perspective :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We did it for the people close to us. Our 3-year relationship caused us to have a lot of common ground, so we need to be civil with each other as much as possible.

      Delete
  4. ahaha sa totoo lang hindi ko aam kujng paano ako magrereact dito sa kwento mo..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. basta... saka bakit ganito yung page mo may sariling buhay ahaha... yung reply ko biglang naging new comment lolz.

      Delete
  5. I'm sorry. I'm quite uhm, - other term for disgusted?
    sorry ha, pero, I would have gave him a slap (lite lang naman) or a jab sa shoulder. basta hindi siya flattering gesture for me, and the way he said it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Appalled? What did he say na hindi mo nagustuhan?

      Delete
    2. Appalled, ayun. Thanks.

      The "gusto ko masaya ka, kasi masaya ako" part. When i first read this I was deeply taken aback, but a quick response from me, if i were in your shoes, I would have smack him.

      bakit?

      Tsaka na pag alam ko na ang storya nyo.

      Delete
    3. I think I know what you're thinking... But yeah, I have yet to tell how our end began...

      Delete
  6. Parang di maganda sa buhay yang mga ganyang engkwentro sa dating karelasyon. Ang agang penitensiya, sep.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *hahaha* Hindi naman masyado OP, slight lang. :)

      Delete
  7. Parang sa pelikula lang nangyayari 'yung mga susunod na eksena just in case na matuloy. Ewan ko, parang hindi maiiwasan ang magaganap na awkward moments pero makakatulong 'yun para ma-overcome ang pag-aalala na nakatanim sa isip. It's a good sign of moving on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bakit naman sa pelikula lang Kuya Ramil? Kasi hindi realistic? *hehe* Don't worry, I think realistic naman ang last part ng kwentong ito. ;)

      Delete
  8. Kung ako yan, sasagutin ko ng "its no longer your business to know kung masaya ako o hindi, those are personal thoughts you are no longer entitled to..." then irap then walk out. LOL

    Seriously. Is he trying to undo something and clear his conscience na kung makita nya akong masaya it justifies the breakup and whatever will be salvaged of the "relationship"?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The truth is I left him, Seth. Sorry, di ko pa kasi naikwento actually ang buong istorya ng paghihiwalay namin. Hindi ko pa kasi kaya. Etong mga sumunod na tagpo na muna. :l

      Delete
  9. awkwarddddd.....

    well about that bisexual thing, naniniwala na ako ngayon na they exist. lol

    anyway back to you and ace, hmmm ewan. nakakatulong ba talaga na magkita kayo para makamove on? ewan ko. there is something unsettling. simmering emotions na pwedeng sumabog. pero kung nakakatulong naman... well that's good.

    may sense ba tong pinagsasabi ko? haha anyway... lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kahit ako hindi ako siguro kung nakakatulong...

      Yep, may sense naman. :)

      Delete
  10. Hhhhmmm.... I'm kinda skeptic about this though naiintindihan ko si Ace sa mga ginagawa niya ngayon dahil in a very subtle way ganyan din ako kay Franco although my intentions are different from Ace's. Scary and risky kasi yang mga ganyan eh but the most important thing is civil kayo and friends... di ba?

    So, All's well that ends well na ba? :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. napaka-kulay ng buhay,... hihihih.. with all those things for consideration,
    parang ang ganda-ganda ko kung ako yan,, kaso, bakit may ganon siyang mga eksena?
    needed ba talaga yun?? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rainbow-colored talaga. *hehe* I think he needed that; it somehow helps with the pain. :l

      Delete
  12. ano ang sagot sa tanong Sep? Are you happy? :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ermergerd. grabe na imagine ko tuloy ito na parang convo sa movie.

    Jewel Clicks

    ReplyDelete
  14. putting the past aside and wanting others to be happy is a sign of love and maturity.
    i'm looking forward to the next part. =)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Awwww.... Naiyak ako.... He still cares.... I need to read some of your older posts so I can relate.... Napaka unconditional naman ng love nya from this context....

    ReplyDelete
  16. large dose of complications seen. :)

    ReplyDelete

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